Holiday cards
Posted this in the general section, but cross-posting here, since I'm interested in hearing from childfree stepparents.
Now that Halloween has passed, it's time to prepare myself for the inevitable sh%t show that is the holidays. I will likely be spending both holidays with DH and his family since he has his children for Thanksgiving this year and has them for Christmas every year. Oh joy...I just love spending time with DH's family - most of whom ignore me or don't see me as his real wife because I am not the mother of his children.
Another fun issue - what to do about holiday cards. Last year, we didn't send any, because I didn't even want to deal with it. DH, of course, wanted to send out a card with just his kids on it or go to get special portraits with the kids for our holiday card. I knew he wouldn't plan any of that or make it happen himself, so I just ignored it.
This year, we moved, so I'm thinking of just sending a late "moving announcement" as our holiday card. I'm having them made, should I include SSs name on the card? I'll also be sending these to my family and friends (in fact, they will mostly go to my family and friends) and they won't be offended if SSs name is not on the card. DH and I have different last names, so putting the "So-and-So Family" is sort of out...
I'd love to hear what others do about holiday cards - particularly, the childless SMs among us.
DH and I don't do a mass
DH and I don't do a mass mailing of holiday cards. However, we do send cards to his parents and my mom. We purchase two cards for his parents. One from us and the other from Ssons. I never put their name on my mom's card.
If we were to send holiday cards I would just sign our name. SKids mom sends her own cards.
You could do two sets. One for his friends and family with all your names. Second set for your friends and family with you and DH's name.
Last resort, you can always sign the card The (insert last name here) Family. This way all is included. My mom and I had two different last names, sometimes I would sign cards The Smith/Jones Family. (Not really our last names) Would you be willing to do that? Or is it lame?
One reason why I don't feel guilty about not putting their names on any card/gift, for the longest time they signed cards "from your family" as if I were chopped liver and not his family.
I think they stopped because I never reacted they eventually stopped.
Dreaded holiday cards! I
Dreaded holiday cards! I faced this dilemma every year! I wanted to send cards with a pic on them like all the other "normal" families' cards I received. Yes, secretly, I wanted just DH, our DSs and me. Of course, DH wanted SSs. It was always a challenge finding a weekend to schedule holiday pics when they both would be there. Then when we went, of course, the photographer would refer to me as "mom," and we'd have to uncomfortably point out I was SSs' SM. Then oldest SS would have a look on his face in the pic like he was in pain, which was a waste of the photo. It reached the point oldest SS was so PAS'd he stopped visiting, and at that point, we stopped cards altogether because it was too embarassing for DH to have everyone realize that oldest SS was estranged. Youngest SS barely came then anyway. Now SSs are 21 and 23, so I guess you'd say they're "grown," especially SS23, who's married with his own 2 DDs. My DSs are 10 and 16, so still young enough for a family card. I haven't decided if I'm going to send out a card this year. The whole thing from the past has just worn me out. I add this to the list of all the other challenges of a being a Step-family.
With kids or without
With kids or without kids/step kids the final decision is UP to you.
I use to send out cards to friends AND family. Now I only send cards to siblings and elderly relatives.
I'll condense it further for you. I only send cards to people who I know will appreciate them.
You can send cards if you want to...DH, YOUR name, SKIDS name. OR dh and your name only if skids don't give a hoot about your family. Truly that is a darn shame IF they don't care about dh's family. But hey some are like that. VERY sad.