Ended relationship with the **FATHER** typo in other post
Forums:
this was my previous post
https://www.steptalk.org/forum/parenting/bio-child-free-zone/i-thought-i...
I ended my relationship with him and it was crushing. He was so upset and lots of tears were shed on both ends. I have a sense of relief but I also feel so horrible about making him feel so sad. He was bawling his eyes out as I was leaving and asking me not to go. I don't know if I did the right thing but how have others coped with this? I still love and care for him but I know I would be unhappy staying in the relationship as well. Any advice is helpful and thanks for listening
*also I am 26 as people asked in the last post*
Good for you - it's hard, but
Good for you - it's hard, but it will pass. Don't contact him or let him try to talk you into returning - just end it and give yourself time to heal.
Better to do it now than down the road when you guys have more invested. Honestly, I'm not sure how he could think you were "the one" when in many ways, your goals and lifestyles are incompatible. Maybe he really wants a relationship and is trying to fit you into it, rather than seeing that you would not be happy and letting you go.
Take care. You were right not to tie yourself to a guy with a crazy ex and kids at 26. Find a guy with no kids who shares your goals and values. One you can travel the world with - once the pandemic is over, of course.
Rags' three day rule.
Breakups hurt. If someone is not hurt, whether the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with, then it was not much of a relationship to begin with.
Now for the three day rule.... Breakups hurt the worst for about 3 days. Each day after day three hurts a bit less until eventually it is just an occassional unpleasant memory at some point. I even find that most of the memories of prior relationships are reasonably pleasant unless it was such a disaster that there are few good memories.
A critical element of the 3 day rule is that it has to be a clean break with zero contact and it has to stay that way. If you re-engage with the recent X it resets the whole process, the pain resets, and you have to go through it all again.
You have done the hard part. Stay the course and be good to you.
The point of dating is to
The point of dating is to figure out if you are compatible. You had a healthy list of reasons in your previous post about why you two weren't compatible. To put it bluntly, if he thought you were "the one" even though you two seemingly had little in common, then his picker is broken. I don't mean that to sound mean, but I can't figure out why he thought you were perfect for him when you have very different viewpoints from him on your respective futures.
My advice? Make this a clean break and take some time to think about what you REALLY want and why you compromised that with this relationship. Being alone sucks, but being married to someone who makes you FEEL alone sucks even worse.
Him being a good guy doesn't make him the RIGHT guy. This isn't a failing on your part. This is what is SUPPOSED to happen - you end relationships that don't meet your expectations.
He'll find someone new.
Trust me on this. And then she'll be the one dealing with the crazy ex. And you'll be drinking a cafe au lait in Paris.