Dh moody when sd is here
Hi, I’m new to this site. So glad I found it though! The advice on here is amazing! I married my dh earlier this year and sd9 lives with us 4 nights per week. We’ve moved 1 hour away but the court still has her going to her old school (in a custody battle for a move away currently). So for now I take her to her old school 3 days per week. I’m a sahw and pregnant with our fist child so it just impacts my morning routine, but not too big of a deal. One of those nights dh has her stay with his parents to give me a break. He realizes he’s asking a lot of me and is very appreciative. I do let him know the second I am not appreciated is the second he will have to make other arrangements for her drop offs. I refuse to be taken advantage of but will help out as long as he shows me and tells me he is appreciative daily. Anyways, I have noticed that he is in a bad mood when she’s around. When we first got married apparently he expected me to take over the parenting that dh parents were doing (dh works a lot) and was upset that I refused to parent her because I run more of a military household and he does free range parenting. I let him know that it would not work for me to parent her. After he looked on the internet to fact check me he agreed. However, he seems bitter that he has to parent at all, as in just doing the basics like telling her to take a shower, brush her teeth, go to bed, etc. Before we married he had to live with his parents so they could take care of the kid since he worked a lot. Bm is in and out of rehab so no help there. She usually pawns the kid off on her family most of her days. So this is the first time he’s had to do any parenting. He says he just doesn’t want to deal with this because he’s been working all day and is tired. I’ve created a schedule of events for sd9 that happens when she is here to alleviate some of the drain on dh so it has helped that she’s had a routine, but he’s still just generally crabby when she’s here. I also have him trained to dictate her schedule to her so I just sit back and pretend like he came up with all this. As soon as she leaves for the second half of the week he’s his regular awesome self again. Is this normal for a parent to be upset they have to do the basic parenting? It seems like it’s just a little much for him. It’s to the point where he thinks That we need couples therapy because we shouldn’t have any disagreements but I tell him disagreements early on is normal and we just need to work though and find our happy place. Background: I was a single lady with a career and owned my own home before I met dh last year so we are still getting to know each other. He went after me quickly and I’m happy I married my best friend. Just trying to work though a new marriage with a skid. Thanks for your advice!