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worried about adult stepson

poisonapple's picture

I'm 29, and my DH is 46. He has 3 boys - 25, 22, and 20. He was married for 25 years to a horrible woman - stayed because she was a shitty mom and he didn't trust her to take care of his boys. When the youngest went off to college, DH finally left her. SS25 and SS20 both understood why, after all, they'd lived with horrible BM too. SS22 refuses to speak with his dad. BM says horrible things about DH, all of which are totally untrue, and SS22 believes every word of it.

Prior to the split, DH and SS22 were really close. I know it really bothers DH that SS22 has completely shut him out of his life. SS22 HATES me, and blames me for his parents splitting up, which had nothing to do with me. We got together months after the split and married a year later.

SS22 sends DH a text every now and again telling him how much he hates him and how he hopes "the whore" (me) was worth losing his family over. DH responds with something like, "I'm sorry you feel this way, I love you, and I miss you terribly. Call me when you are ready to talk".

Is there anything I can do in order to mend this situation? I try to stay out of it completely, but it kills me to see DH so upset about it.

BTW SS25 lives with us, and SS20 lives away at college, but divides his time between our house and BM's house when he comes home for breaks.

devilwoman's picture

I would say no; better to stay out of it. No matter what you do, it will be twisted around and used against you. Hopefully in time, skid will see that you are ok. For now, let your husband handle it.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Well 2 outta 3 aint bad. If the other 2 boys love you and know you're not the reason for the split SS#3 will eventually come around. And if he doesn't oh well...His loss...