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Wish me luck

Newimprvmodel's picture

So this weekend I get to spend with SD and her spouse. As I said she can't wait to get to the vacation house but come to OUR house?  Hell no. But good for me right?   Old me would have been baking and cooking. Making all kinds of appetizers and cakes for the weekend. New me?  I have not lifted a finger. Will let husband and the "other wife"plan and prepare everything. 
Seriously there is never a problem when we see them. We are all friendly and on our best behavior. But then we go our separate ways. Like seeing close friends of your close friends. 

Notthedoormat's picture

You have planned ahead to do nothing and I love it!  People tend to miss your efforts when they're gone and it shows them that you won't be taken advantage of!

Take a great book along to immerse yourself and enjoy some solitude while you're at it!

Survivingstephell's picture

It's good to step back and leave room for them to handle it.  I do hope she won't trash the place.  If she does,  have a house cleaner phone number handy.  

CLove's picture

This coming Tuesday is SDalmost17 bday and shes been with her mother in Beach town for the past 2 1/2 months, no contact. 

Nothing has been planned and nothing bought. I might get a card. Her dad can take her out for dinner. Im not cooking.

Newimprvmodel's picture

So this weekend is eye opening. The first day here SD had a friend visit for for day and she had her husband were off all day. They even went out to lunch.  No invites for us.  And today there was a spat I heard the tail end of. SD was telling husband well you hate my mom!  And he was denying it. I stayed in the next room and they seemed to put it down and were friendly. But husband is mostly hanging with me and SD with her husband. I don't get it. Husband even mentioned about having them visit us at our home this summer and she pretended like she didn't hear it. So why all the calls and texts?  Every morning I can't have a nice coffee with husband without her calls. And yet in person. Not much 

JRI's picture

We often think we know what's going on with other people then are surprised when they have unexpected ideas, spats, likes, etc.  Just treat them like neighbors or acquaintances or co-workers, just polite and cordial and tell yourself the weekend is almost over.

We had dinner with my much-younger brother and family who were making their annual visit to my aged mom.  He and I aren't close due to the age difference but it was fine.  Same thing, an ok evening but once Mom passes, I will probably never see him again.  Let DH and SD have their virtual telationship, it's probably more comfortable for both.

AgedOut's picture

for some people a texual relationship is easier than a face-to-face relationship. It's easier to speak in short sentences or phone calls/ face time. But face-to-face requires give and take, real emotions showing up, and actual engagement. 


I think for your SD and husband, little is more and more is a disaster.