When to stop paying for adult stepchild’s gas
I have a 23yo ss who lives with us. Graduated with BA and will be attending grad school next year after taking a few classes near home this year.
Sounds like a good kid, right?
Nope. He has zero consideration for how his actions affect others and truly doesn't care when confronted. He's super difficult to live with.
When kids are in school (high school and college) and living at home, we have paid for their cars gas. But, with the other kids, this has ended by 21 yrs old. This last SS still at 23 has dad paying for his gas. Every week.
I feel like he should be more responsible at 23 yrs old and paying for his own gas. He works part time. He eats out allllll the time so he has money. Other child who went to college got cut off from the gas thing when he was a junior. This child is a graduate heading to grad school next year!
Any opinions on how long this should continue. My opinion is not popular in my house.
Do you have combined finances
Do you have combined finances, such that you are subsidizing this kid's gas? If so, you have every reason to express your opinion. If not, I'd stay out of it. I'd be more concerned with his behavior while living in your home. His father should address it if he's super difficult to live with.
Good Lord this is disgusting.
Good Lord this is disgusting.
I agree with previous poster.
If your finances are combined, you have every right to say something about this extra rediculous expense.
If your finances are separate, I would speak carefully, if at all. If all bills are being paid with no issue, retirement plans are secure, etc. there is not much you can say. However, if things are coming up short and you have to cover - again say something.
That being said, this would really disgust me and it would make me lose respect for my spouse/SO.
Now. He's 23. If he had a
Now. He's 23. If he had a good attitude, I'd consider extending it or paying here and there with gas gift cards to help out, but since he's a sh*t, now would be the best time to end.
My daughter is 16. Right now
My daughter is 16. Right now we pay for her gas but that will be stopped when she gets her first paycheck. She starts work this Wednesday. He's got a job, he can pay for his own gas or he can park his car and get around the best way he can. It's time he learned that with independence comes responsibility.
once my kids were working and
once my kids were working and paying their own expenses, they paid for their own gas.
As soon as he finished his BA.
He can get a job and support himself until he starts Grad school.
No more gas, no more roof, no more food... as of now.
smh
The only way freeloaders
The only way freeloaders learn is a dose of tough love. In this case it would be Dad saying you can fill your own tank by simply eating out one less day a week. Of course most of us have a resident DH who craves being the hero with the big dick wallet, and he' ll never deny junior such generosity. Like ndc says above, unless you personally are losing money over it then its between father and son.
I can one up that one!
SS is 28, makes more than I make, rents his own 3 bedroom house as a single guy, furnished it, bought a new Mustang and yet we still carry his cell phone and he doesn't offer to pay us or even mention that we still pay it for him. For that reason I don't worry about what I buy my kids.
Just dump him from the plan and be done with supporting him.
There is no way this kid
There is no way this kid shouldn't be paying for his own gas. My BF does the same, disney dad who pays for gas for his 22 year old daugher who has a job, and the 19 year old one as well, both have jobs. Unbelievable
Wishing
Sd23 would even have been driving!
But at 23 they are adults. Wondering to see if combined finances.
Really the BIGGER issue is the living with you and being a difficult jerk. Its kinda like saying you have a paper cut on your finger when your other arm is chopped off...
Split the $
If you and your husband don't have split accounts I suggest that you set something up we are he has an account of his own you have an account of your own and then there's joint accounts to pay for everything for the house. Whatever's in his? If he wants to waste his money and gassing up those cars let him. Just make sure that you're not paying for it by gassing up your husbands. On the other hand there are sometimes extenuating circumstances. I don't have a car and my BD has got her own two kids and two step kids and she runs them all over the place because her car is the one that uses the least gas. If she does a lot of running with me? Like we're out shopping or we go out for the day and I see she's down on gas I will just tell her to pull in and put in some money in the tank. However it's out of what was always my money and it's just cause I feel like doing it not because it's something I do every single time. I know right now times aren't exactly that easy for her and if I'm putting mileage on her car/she's taking me somewhere? Just like I would with a friend a chip in some gas money. But up until now? Hers got cut off at 21 as did her SS.