When dysfunctional becomes your new normal
Quick recap. SD17 (18 next month) is very attached to her dad. Only child. Slow maturation. Lots of work this end to assist with her independence. Never ending uphill battle but some good improvements.
In my opinion SD17 lives for opportunities to stand by her daddy's side and be his pseudo partner. DH appears to not want that but is one of those "hey we are all one big happy family" types.
So my problem is that last week I just went along with the status quo. Its like i have been brainwashed entirely. I heard myself inviting her to family and friends catch ups. I think I just feel pressured to. She just sits there or stands next to her dad. All my family and friends know she thinks she is a mini-wife. Even DH gets something is not quite right with how she interacts. It's like she's lost now that the reality is no longer just her and dad together at things.
So what is wrong with me? I just cruised along and more or less blanked her out. Feeling neutral and totally removed from it. Problem is also feeling distant from DH. Not trying to, its like some new zombie me has come to stay.
Anyone have this reaction over time? Did you come out the other side?
It's been three years of her now. I think I preferred the me that cared no matter how painful it was. I do not want to mute down the intense and beautiful connection I have (had? yikes) with DH.