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What's in a name?

2Tired4Drama's picture

Well, in our case the name is an homage to BM.  

SD and DH have named their latest child after BM (first name) and DH's mom (middle name). Spelling is slightly different but it's obviously taken from BM's name. 

Sigh. This is yet another example of the pedestal BM is on due to her and SD's enmeshment and parental alienation. BM is the ultimate parent and now everyone will be reminded of it for the rest of our lives. At no point was there ever the slightest consideration to use any of her father's family names, of course. This is the third child so one would think it might have at least crossed their minds. But nope. Only DH's family and now BM are represented in the kids' names. 

I fully understand that many people name their children after relatives but when you don't wear rose-colored glasses and know that the honoree is a cheating, lying narcissist it makes it pretty hard to let the name roll of one's tongue. 


CajunMom's picture

The Golden Uterus status. I'm actually kind of shocked that none of DHs kids who've had girls have not paid omage to the BM, especially since she died a few years ago. And like your BM, this one was a horrible individual within the stepworld. DH and I were talking the other night...specific about weddings and why I will not attend any of his kids' wedding EVER. Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be just with all the past behaviors that they've attacked me with. I told DH, for picture time, they'll probably order a 6 foot cutout of BM to "pose" for pic time. SMH

2Tired4Drama's picture

But probably not far from what will happen. Who knows? They may actually bring a big framed photo of her and place it at a chair, like she was sitting there. 

2Tired4Drama's picture

We'll see how it all pans out. SD and clan are long-distance it's not anything we have to immediately deal with. But I like the idea of coming up with a special nickname. 

What was more ridiculous was SD sent me a huge coffee mug (it holds 2-3 normal cups worth) with "I Love Grandmother" on it for the holiday. Considering I typically hear from her once a year (a two-word "Happy Birthday" text) I am confused as to what exactly she was thinking. 

Then I recalipered and remembered she has had no qualms in giving me re-gifted stuff. Cynic that I am, I am thinking this may have been a mug she orignally gave BM, or maybe BM got it from someone else, and due to its clownish proportions it wound up as my holiday gift.

In any case, the reality is I will never be a grandmother to these children. I cannot have a better relationship with them than I do with their parents SD/DH - which is essentially zero.  We are polite when we rarely meet but otherwise have no communication.

How that confers into a grandparent title is beyond me.