What would your DH/SO do?
We have a little situation here that's making me want to laugh and cry. Curious what others would do in this situation.
My SO (of 2 years) has a DD (21) who cut him out of her life about 7 months ago for being a terrible father. It's all baloney, he was a wonderful father. She has mental health issues and has spent most of her life in victim mode. Anyhoo, after 7 months of almost no contact, she reached out recently asking for a little money. He agreed since she's still in college and like I said he's a good father. I couldn't disagree that a college kid gets a little financial help from time to time (same for my kids and his other child, and we will treat her the same as the others in some regards). But then, a few days later, she sent him an email with her Christmas Wish list, and this, for some reason, has me laughing and crying. I'm thinking "You tell your responsible, kind, loving parent that he will never be a part of your future because he was a horrible father, go silent for 7 months refusing to see him or talk to him, and then send your Wish list for the holidays?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF!? Before you ask for another single thing, you owe him a huge apology, and then you owe him gratitude for being a wonderful Dad and for dealing with your mental health weapons that have been thrown at him for years, and maybe after you've apologized and started to mend that fence you can ask for a frickin' present!" Man, I do not like this person. Not even a teeny tiny bit!
My SO (who does not chase her or beg for her attention) chose 1 item off her list and had it sent straight from Amazon. I haven't said a single thing about it to him, but my thoughts are spinning. One side of me says a small, holiday gift to show her again that you care is the mature, loving thing to do. And the other side of me thinks this is the kind of enabling crap that has led to this 21 year old thinking it's OK to treat people poorly. Wouldn't it have been a powerful message to her if he had ignored the wish list and no package arrived for the holidays? But I also know as a parent that it's hard to be estranged from a child that you wish you had a good relationship with.
What would you or your SO/DH's do in this situation?
Hopefully we're all spared some holiday SKid drama thanks to covid this year.