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What must she be thinking

Newimprvmodel's picture

Good weekend. One of my sons was visiting and is about to get engaged. We went out to dinner and he was discussing the ring. DH has known him for the past 15 yrs and he only met DH's daughters ONCE about 12 years ago. The girls refused to attend our wedding and never spend any holidays. 
DH has phone relationships with his daughters. I think for their need not his. So one called today and DH went on ad infinitum about my son's visit upcoming engagement, fiancée etc etc. 

I was listening to it thinking what must his daughter be thinking?  Painful?  To share her father with strangers to her  

life is so short   I think maybe we could all

have had nice relationships.  It's way too late  

 

 

Tried out's picture

much of the same thoughts. It really didn't have to be like this. But it was. And there was probably nothing you could have done to change the outcome. In my case, my husband's adult daughter was hostile from the very first time I met her. It was nothing I did - it was my existence that she hated. And everything spiraled outward from that.

Oh, well. 

notarelative's picture

First time I met YSD was at DH's home. She knew I would be there, but when she walked in and saw me, she turned around and walked into the garage. DH went out and talked to her and she returned, but it set the tone for the future.

SteppedOff's picture

Tried Out. Many times I have had the same thoughts surrounding the sh*t show here. This sort of behavior has NOTHING to do with who the step parent or their children are...just that they are. 

Really, it is so, so simple and these ferals take it too far and have no idea how to get it back. The only thing they know is daddy adoring, doormatting, and relenting. When that doesn't happen they want to hang on to something daddy, and continue to hold out for daddy getting it and coming to his senses and giving in to them.
 

The entitled step children are the biggest losers in this game when daddio finally sets boundaries. They don't care why he set them...just that he set them is the issue for them.

Ugggggh...what lunacy!
 

Tried out's picture

It's like dad has to prove their love for him by allowing them to treat SM badly. When he says stop, all hell breaks lose.

I think the degree of hell that ensues is predicated on the mental health of the SKs, from whatever cause. It's manifested by entitlement and bitchiness but I think that just reflects how messed up they are in the head. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

How are you doing with the other drama with your mom and brother?  

I have to confess, I have a telephone relationship with my father.  Its sad but it is what it is.  He's really hard to deal with and we haven't lived in the same country since I was 16 (and that was a really long time ago).

Newimprvmodel's picture

Where do I begin?

Police called 3 times last weekend in a 24 hour period.  For fake wellness checks. 
icing on the cake was " my brother" calling my place of employment and telling them I was "holding our father hostage."

my so called mother leaving harrassing messages she was calling the licensing board to take my professional license because I am a thief. 
yes I did hear that from blocked messages.  
my father has turned into a royal peach. He was depressed all my life and has decided to go out the sane way. My life has become a shitshow. Here my kids are grown. And now I care for an elderly man who tells me everyday I do half assed jobs. 
my mother just called my house using another number.  Tells my father I am stealing all the money from the sale of their house snd he asks me if it is true?

the stress is killing me. 
I sound crazy but all this is true. 

stepmomnorth's picture

This is a good perspective and I think about this type of thing as well. Sometimes people really do make things more difficult in life, unnessessarily. It should be easier, but then there are a lot of factors that come into play. 

Harry's picture

Else to talk about with DD.  Be happy you don't have to be dealing with this kid.  Not having to be cooking for her, having her invade your home.  So what.  DH has nothing to talk with his DD. So the up coming wedding was all he could think of.  

stepmomnorth's picture

The poster has a point. With biological families and people are so petty sometimes, cutting ties with family members and for what?! What reason? They feel entitled, they are spoiled, they are alienated. Whatever the reason. Life IS short. Why is family not more important? My step daughter wont speak at ALL to her dad cause he has some rules and she is mad over some petty stuff. Really?!! This is her dad that cares for her and has done tonnes of nice things for her. I would give anything in this world to have my mother back who passed away from cancer. And then there are spoiled kids who don't talk to their parents. 

Crr18's picture

My SD has decided not to stay with SO and she is so rude to him now. They have no bond and nothing to talk about. I hate to see this happen. I just lost my dad and so wish I could talk to him. Family is important but something just seems to always be out of place with a lot of these divorced families.IMO.