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What the heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is your take the same as mine???

LONGTIME SM's picture

Background:

SD 35 and SS 36, routinely as tweens, teens, and adults, have dangled whether or not they would grant H with the privilege of their prescence like a carrot - more often than not cancelling at the last minute. SD 35 and SS36 refused to talk to H in an attempt at emotional blackmail to attempt to get H to give them his inheritance 3 years ago. The few times they have called since then is primarily to rant and scream at H for all of his supposed shortcomings i.e H not providing them money, my (SM) not spending as much money on them (adults) as I do my own MINOR bios, etc. It was a constantly changing reason dreamed up to make them look better each time. Since they stopped talking to H, both SD 35 and SS 36 have become obsessed with contacting my minor bios behind our backs - using other people's face book accounts etc. probably because they know I do not want my bios to have contact with them (as they and BM are CRAZY) and who am I to tell them that??? When told to stop, SD 35 told me she and her brother had rights to my bios. SD 35, to entice me to let her and SS 36 see my bios, informed me that "she would not tell my bios what she thinks of me!!!!"

It was in this same conversation that I was proclaimed to be a horrible person because on her EOWE visits as a child her father told her to tell me "goodbye" after spending the weekend in my home. THE HORROR. During this same conversation H suddenly was proclaimed by SD 35 to be this wonderful person that SD 35 just could not get to see enough of because of his obligations to his NEW family (the newest excuse) but she had every excuse in the world as to why she could not make ANY effort to see or call him more often! I quess it is more rewarding to her to go around claiming that SM is keeping SD 35 from your DADDDDDDY!!!! SS 36 still will not return H's calls.

THE LATEST - I NEED YOUR INPUT ON WHAT YOU THINK SD IS UP TO AS I AM A BIT JADED BY NOW

SD 35 calls on "Father's Day" and tells H she will take him out for lunch soon for Father's Day. SD 35 calls back and sets up last Friday to take him to lunch. Friday comes and she texts him mid morning telling him that she has to cancel their lunch because she forgot that she was leaving to go out of town that day AFTER lunch (for the weekend) for one of the her kid's scheduled summer activities.

Also, SD 35 has mentioned that H can bring my youngest bio with him to their lunch on two of the three times she contacted him about his FD lunch even though she knows she is supposed to be working on her relationship with H without involving me or the bios. SD 35 was told this by both H and myself - but of course we are just minor bio's parents.

There have been NO ATTEMPTS since the cancellation to take him out to lunch. I seriuosly doubt that SD 35 can stomach spending $10 on her Dad's lunch though after the reaction I got from her when I suggested they meet for lunch in our conversation a few months ago when I told her to work on her relationship with her father. You could almost hear the shock and horror in her voice! Dad should be paying for anything she wants as he owes her in their eyes!!!!

H will be at a camp function today though with my youngest bio that SD 35 will also attend. The invitation could come today in an attempt to corner him when he has my bio with him. Y BIO and I have plans for lunch today ourselves though so her attempt if she tries this will fail. }:) Blum 3

1. Do you think SD 35 could have really forgotten she was going out of town ?
2. Do you think SD 35 is once again trying to get back at H with empty promises?
3. Does anyone buy that she could have forgotten until the morning she was to leave that she had to go out of town. SD 35 did not even try to say it was for an unexpected reason.
4. Do you think that SD 35 is trying once again to show me she can have access to my bio no matter what I say?
5. Do you think that SD35's continuous attempts to access my bios is just a control issue for her so that she can show dominance over me?
6. Do you think SD 35 is trying to exert some influence and/or discord into my nuclear family by trying to negativley influence my bios?

Just wondering what others not involved think. I'll update later about the camp "meeting".

LONGTIME SM's picture

I really wish I could deny them! My advice to all of you out there that have young bios and older almost grown or grown stepkids is to discourage close relationships especially if there is any hint that BM is PASing the stepkids as it will only end up hurting your bios. From what I have experienced and read on here it rarely and I mean rarely turns out good for the bios. Help them keep a healthy distance because they will be better off and will not later be embroiled in the nastiness that will eventually and probably periodically erupt.

Auteur's picture

"Do you think SD 35 is once again trying to get back at H with empty promises? Yes. She's trying to show that she's making an effort, while she has no intentions of actually following thru. She wants to look like the good girl who's trying to meet with her father."

SPOT ON!!!

They learn this type of behaviour from the PASinator BM!!

The Behemoth (the BM in my case) is a MASTER of this as are all narcissitic BMs and they eventually teach their "trade" to their children, particularly their daughters. So their daughters will learn to make men miserable the rest of their lives as well!!

tellmewhywhywhy's picture

"The Behemoth (the BM in my case) is a MASTER of this as are all narcissitic BMs and they eventually teach their "trade" to their children, particularly their daughters. So their daughters will learn to make men miserable the rest of their lives as well!!"

Auteur-
You nailed it! Such a true statement!

LONGTIME SM's picture

Snickersgal - my take on it is the exact same as yours but I needed to check with all of you first as H seems to want to continue believing the impossible and I did not want to prejudge SD 35 if there seemed to be any possiblity it could be read another way.

Sometimes it is hard to be sympathetic with H at all anymore as watching this type of display of contempt and him continually giving both SD 35 and SS 36 the benefit of the doubt over and over is just SO PATHETIC.

It is unbelievable how ugly H can get with anyone else but he rarely if ever tells SD 35 or SS 36 off despite them showing him over and over that all they have for him is contempt ( wonderful man that he is - Biggrin )!

LONGTIME SM's picture

UPDATE: SD did not invite H or bio to lunch at the camp show last Friday. SD 35 sat immediaitely behind H and my youngest bio and Ybio's friends. SD 35 did not talk to ybio and Ybio said that she ignored SD 35. Perhaps now SD 35 got the message and will leave Ybio alone and stop stalking her!

SD 35 barely spoke with H. H left before the end of the show and said that SD 35 was leaving when he drove off. SD 35 may have heard that I was coming to pick up ybio after the show was over. IDK and I dont care.

Interesting though that it has been 3 1/2 weeks since Fathers Day and SD 35 has not yet made good on taking H out to lunch for fathers day! And SD 35 told me that she now considered H to be a "wonderful man". Guess this is the appropriate treatment for wonderful fathers! :sick: