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Well -- made it through the frickin' wedding.

momof5_1969's picture

So we had the wedding tonight -- SD24 and her fiance are finally married. Phew. So we did the rehearsal dinner and rehearsal last night and honestly, it went amazingly well. I felt like my prayers had been answered and we were going to get beyond all of this nonsense and start becoming a normal family, who actually act like adults and treat eachother respectfully. The whole rehearsal evening went so good. I was thrilled when we left at how good it went.

A year ago SD24's now mother-in-law was awful to me -- and I mean AWFUL! Last night she actually apologized to me, thanked me for accepting her apology and even hugged me. I was floored! SD24 was even nice to me - like genuine. It was so nice. She asked me last night if I would take care of her son all day today while she got ready for the wedding, and asked if I would take care of him during the ceremony if he got fussy. I said no problem, I could do that. I honestly didn't mind. I enjoy having her son over because he is actually really easy.

Anyhoo, so we get to the wedding, and I'm still feeling pretty good about things because of how well things went at the rehearsal dinner, and even the last few family get togethers.

So my DH's ex mother-in-law was there, and she is a royal bitch. She brought her bitch sister as well. This woman is AWFUL. She actually used to like me and then went nuts and now doesn't like me. She blames me for her daughter and my DH not being together. Nevermind the fact that I came into the picture five years AFTER their divorce, but whatever old woman. So at SS23's wedding in June, this awful woman made a point to purposefully ignore me. So at SD24's wedding I wasn't going to even give her the opportunity, I was going to just avoid her. I did just that. I also made a point to not talk to her bitch sister either. I looked amazing in my hot little black dress, my hair was done super cute, and I laughed and had a great time -- did not let these petty little people think that they were getting to me. So This awful woman's other grand daughter was there with her husband, and they have made it a point to also ignore and shun me -- so I just did it right back. Acted like I didn't even know who they were.

So I'm thinking that we have made it through this wedding and wow, things went really good -- AND THEN the toasting begins. Everyone decides they want to make a frickin' toast. I'm just waiting and know it's going to happen. Someone is going to say something mean and hurtful, and get a dig in some how.

So about ten people do a toast -- and no I'm not even joking. AND then SD24 and her now new husband decide they are going to make a toast. They begin thanking all sorts of people -- they thank SD24's new husband's mom and dad because "without them none of this would have happened and we couldn't have done it without them, they just did so much, thank you so much new Mom and DAd." And thanks to the biological mom who sent cash to SD24 and she was able to buy this beautiful dress, without her "I wouldn't have this beautiful dress. Even though she couldn't be here..." blah blah blah.........goes on to literally thank EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM EXCEPT ME AND DH. Granted we were not able to help with a lot financially because DH lost his job, but what we did help with wasn't cheap. She got an absolutely beautiful cake -- done at a discount because of A FRIEND OF MINE -- but no thank you from her for that. WE PAID FOR THE CAKE. WE PAID FOR THE FLOWERS. WE PAID FOR THE PASTOR. WE PAID FOR THEIR MARRIAGE LICENSE. WE GAVE THEM CASH TO BUY A VERY NICE DINNER ON THEIR HONEYMOON. But I guess we didn't spend enough frickin' money to warrant a thankyou. PLUS we are watching their son while they go on their honeymoon, I watched him all day today, and have helped quite a bit in other things. But I guess that shit doesn't matter.

So I guess I should be thankful that we made it through the majority of the ceremony, wedding, and reception without anything bad happening except at the very end. After their frickin' toast, I got up and walked over to them and their son (grandson) was crying and took him out of their arms and said "we're leaving." And we left.

I felt so humiliated. My DH thinks that his daughter is not smart enough to purposefully leave us out to get a dig in. I told him he underestimates her. She knew exactly what she was doing and so did her new husband.

Justme54's picture

That is SAD...SAD...SAD. I would be ashamed to take any money from my dad...knowing he was unemployed. You got her number. Your DH, just like me, sees no wrong in his adult skids. When I read how nice she was to you, I thought...SHE WANTS SOMETHING. I was right...FREE BABYSITTER.

If you get bored, read my blog on SS35 Christmas gift...after sending him $2000 for his rehearsal dinner. I hate SS35 and I do mean hate. GROWN MAN...still asking daddy for money.

momof5_1969's picture

Thanks stepaside -- that is great advice. I appreciate that. I haven't reacted, other than leaving the wedding -- granted her son was acting up and it was 10:45 pm and he was beyond bedtime -- so it could have looked like we were leaving because of her son too. It could go either way. We'll see what happens this Sunday -- she is having a party for her son, we'll see if we're invited.

I had that thought too that she was concerned about her "thanking" getting back to her mom (even though she wasn't even there) -- her grandma was and she would have passed the information on to her daughter (the BM).

momof5_1969's picture

Hard to know? We've watched her son many times. At least once a week. So yes, I'm guessing that SD24 has told MIL some nice things about me to justify why leaving son with me is now okay. Yes, SD24 told MIL that I was crazy, needed mental help, etc. Needless to say, yes I have needed mental help because of all the crap I have to put up with from the skids -- all four of them. They are enough to drive ANYONE mad!

momof5_1969's picture

Yes the night that her MIL lashed out at me was a night that SD24 and fiance were fighting. She calls us and says that they are kicking her out of the house -- meaning her fiance, his mom and dad, and his grandma. It's about 11 o'clock at night when we get the call and we tell her we'll be there to support her. We get there and they had called the police.

So now we walk in -- we make sure to say we're just there to support SD24 -- her brother, SS23, came along also. So at one point fiance's dad calls SD24 a bitch, and my Dh pipes up and tells hiim to not talk to his daugther that way....blah blah blah.

Come to find out from the police that they cannot kick her out at a moments notice, which I had told SD24 -- told her exactly what the police told her. Guess she realized when they repeated exactly what I did, that maybe I'm not a stupid bitch after all. So the police at about midnight say that anyone who does not live her needs to leave.

MIL at that point follows us outside, and tells me that she wants to talk to me. I tell her that I don't think that now is a good time. I mean, tensions were high, people are only going to say things that they're going to regret. So SS23 then says, "why don't we see what they have to say." And turns me around to face her. She then starts spewing "so is everything that SD24 says about you true? are you crazy? Do you need mental help? etc." Was AWFUL! I started crying and turned around and walked to the car. I wasn't going to sit there and defend myself, and make SD24 look like a liar (which is what they wanted). If I would have defended myself, I would have made SD24 look like a liar, and that would have played right into their hands.

Needless to say, it got progressively worse and fiance's Dad threatened to SHOOT my DH! When DH and SS23 finally get back to the car I asked DH "well, you happy?" "Was that worth it?" think it would have been better had they actually listened to me! But NOOOOOOOO. Whatever, again!

So THAT is what MIL was apologizing for. So Much crap to wade through. UG!

sixteensmom's picture

oh I'm so so sorry! I absolutely believe they did it on purpose. Those jerks. Both of them. We had several weddings last year and actually my own sons bride was a monster. we all got over it because we're family and that's what we do but I don't think anyone on either side of either family spoke to them for a month.