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Well It is MY Turn to Go Through Wedding Drama with Twit

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

And it isn't pretty.  She called the other day and told us (DH actually) the save the date notices were out and "Did we get one?"  We hadn't and DH told her that (dummy).  So that gets her started.....oh, she knew that, it is going to be a small wedding and the BRIDE didn't want us.....not Twit's fault.  Folks if you believe that I have some swamp land here in the southwest you might be interested in. 

If we weren't invited (though DH told her his feelings earlier on this), it was because of Twit's mouth, bad mouthing me.  That is how she operates.  My hubby calls it stirring the pot.

Anyway, she suggested that we come out there and...STAY AT HER PLACE during the course of the wedding, which is in a city about 75 miles from Twit's place.  They are going up there and staying in a hotel for some time before the wedding.  Can you imagine!!!   She could use someone to watch the dogs and the house while they are away 'cause the wedding is so expensive. 

We both were dumbfounded at her comments.

She is sending us a list of things the B&G would like as gifts and shower gifts!

This woman has no idea as to what people might feel about things.  I know DH what DH said before when Twit said we might not be invited, or whatever; but throwing it in his face like this is damn well CRUEL.

FWIW, anytime Twit says something isn't her fault or she had nothing to do with it is a LIE.  That is one of her "tells" when she instigates.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I am beyond dumbfounded by this.  She actually thinks she is being kind by wanting us to go to her place!

sandye21's picture

OMG!  This is the worst case of lack of etiquette I've ever heard!  It's just about laughable.  And THAT's a possible solution - just laugh at her when she suggests something so absurd and say, "No."  Just laugh and let her know what you charge to house sit and take care of her animals - and you want the money before hand.   Or laugh and tell her that you and DH have something more important to do.  In other words, laugh at everything that comes out of her mouth and demonstrate to her that her 'requests' are below you.   I know everyone says take the upper road but there is no upper road with Twit.  I assume your DH is still saying 'No' to all of it.  If you are not invited to anything why would you want to be giving gifts?  Don't know if her outlandish behavior could be considered cruel  as much as stupid, insane and uncivilized. One good thing - at least you got a taste of 'things to come' before committing yourselves to anything - can you imagine what you would have gone through if you had actually been invited and attended the wedding?  Also can you imagine what the bride is going through right now?  It'll be a miracle if they don't elope.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye -  etiquette is not something Twit is familiar with.  That would entail having feelings about doing the correct thing and Twit only thinks about Twit and her babies.

Sandye - I laughed at her many a time when I was back there and she gets this look on her face that tells you you have stirred up a hornets nest.  Maybe not right then, but she is gunning for you.

My general response to anything she says these days that I have to answer is to just say blandly "That's nice" and no more, even when she wants more follow up.  Drives her crazy,...okay, she's already there, but it shows that she is getting frustrated because she can't get at me.

SacrificialLamb's picture

is that you feel so much better being removed from the CRAZY and it drives them nuts they can't get at you. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

What else can you do but laugh at this point?

Twit probably enjoyed making sure you and DH werent invited to the wedding, perhaps as payback for not allowing her and her misfit family to stay when they turned up on your doorstep. And how benevolent of her to throw you a bone by offering to house you - when you come to be her unpaid staff.

I agree with Sandye, just laugh at her foolish machinations while you enjoy being far, far away from her crazy.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yes, Julie, it is interesting to watch the drama unfold.  And I thank the Lord every day we are no where near that loon.

There are many things I have never posted because they are just...so far out there...that eventhough I heard it, witnessed it, or was the target, make my jaw drop.

SacrificialLamb's picture

Twit knew you guys weren't invited and I agree you were badmouthed. I have been around my OSD, along with some of her "friends" (she badmouths them too), and seen the look of surprise on their faces when they realize I really don't have two horns growing out of my head. 

But Twit is so charitable. You must be devastated to not be invited to the wedding of the century. So she will make it up to you by allowing you to stay at her place. And oh by the way can you take care of the animals?

Oh well, one less order from Twit's pots and pans catalog.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Trust me, no way no how am I going to spend time and money traveling back there to watch her dogs, neither is DH.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh I agree she is a hoot.  Where the h*ll she comes up with this stuff is beyound me.  As I understand it, the bride's parents and relatives are flying in to that city about a week or two before the wedding and Twit wants to be there.

The best one can hope is that after the brides relatives get ahold of a week or two with dealing with Twit and her grandiose ways, queen of the wedding, etc., they will take their daughter back to Europe with them.

As far as bad mouthing me..of course Twit is.  She may be the pain in my butt, but she is obviously, shall we say, concerned about me, what I do, say, etc.  Keep in mind, she knows her Father won't say anything about her actions, but I will.  And my dear Mother, and Grandmother, always told me to watch how people treat other people because sooner or later they get around to you.  This Grannie use to say about gossips, people who will gossip to you about others will gossip about you to others.

 

I want to tell you what my BFF forever says about Twit (and she has said a lot and none of it positive just facts, she is a retired FBI profiler).  She not only thinks Twit is dangerous for me to be around because she has several, shall we say, problems; but she also thinks that Twit's real target is her Father and that she goes after me because she knows that not only does it cause trouble and pain for me, but as a way to get at him.  She craves attention.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, one more thing.  Seems the brides parent's wanted their daughter to go back to Europe and be married there.   Twit didn't like that at all.  Recall her bleating about the expense etc., that her Baby boy needed to be married HERE.

One thing about Twit's Babies, they do end up doing what SHE wants.  That is why the bride's parents, etc. are coming here.

This is probably the only one of the three that will marry and Twit wants to be the Belle of the Wedding.

notasm3's picture

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Twit volunteered to mail the save the date cards and deliberately didn’t mail yours.  I could see her doing something like that and then telling everyone that you couldn’t be bothered to even respond. *diablo*

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi notasm3 - You know, I thought the same thing.  That is something that is right up her alley.  Then she could blame it all on the mail....not her fault....etc.  Have seen her do tings like that before.

lala-land's picture

That was my first thought...Twit has disposed of your invitation.  Why doesn’t DH contact his grandson directly, just to congratulate him on his engagement and upcoming wedding.  Then let him know that he understands that they want to keep the wedding small, hence no invite to you guys, and that Twit told him that. Then listen to grandsons response...I’ll bet it is interesting.   Shining the light of day on Twits darkness would be a good thing.

sandye21's picture

I agree with Lala and Rags - DH should contact his GS directly and offer his congratulations, and let GS know you understand it is a small wedding and that is why Twit told you that you were not invited.  My Mother, who is a nacrissist, has pulled this several times.  The last time was when my Sister, who lives with her, broke her arm.  My Mohter does not drive and I was needed to help out.  But my Mother insisted I stay home, and tried to thwart all efforts on my part to get to their home.  That way she could be the victim again by telling everyone I didn't want to help out.   When I got to her home, she did everything in her power to make me leave.

I really think Twit is dooing this to make you look bad.  Get to the bottom of it and expose her for what she is.

theoldredhen's picture

Yo, driving me, how about wrapping up that ashtray in some fancy paper and sending it to Twit's spawn as a wedding gift? Keep it all in the family, nome sayin'?

Twit's escapades never fail to entertain. Hon, you could write a book. The only problem is that her antics are too outrageous to be believed!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh I do so wish I had kept that carppy ashtray.  Darn it.

 

Yes, she is unbelievable and unexplainable.  I have never met anything like her.  My friend has her pegged on what to expect and how she operates.  My friend says it is no wonder her offspring are screwed up.  She wants to bet with me that the wedding won't last 5 years unless the couple moves far beyond Twit's grip, which I hear is what they want to do.  Will be interesting to watch as to how Twit uses her manipulations, victimization, etc. to keep them close so she can get at them.  She is already crying to DH that she will probably have to go to Europe to see her grandchildren.  Sigh, it started already.  IMO, the best thing the couple could do is move overseas and the sooner the better.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

fancy paper, umm, are talking AngelSoft, Northern or good old Charmin 

 

None of those, anything above generic would be too good for any of them.

 

theoldredhen's picture

Now there's a plan, Queensway! Used? 

Rags's picture

DH needs to call GS and his bride directly, make hotel reservations at the nicest hotel in proximity to the venue, and the two of  your go regardless of the Twit's machinations.

Let Twit figure out her dog situation.

I would do it just to rub Twit's nose in her own stench.  And I would have a great time doing it. Diablo

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sounds good, Rags, but I just don't want to go through all the wedding drama with Twit.  If she left us out deliberately, let her explain that to her son....not that he would care because he does what Mama Twit wants.  I have no doubt she has the Bride believing I am the devil incarnate through her bad mouthing....have heard her do that about other family members.  WE are all screwed  up and she and her merry  brood of losers are just perfect.

And I have no intention, neither does DH, of going back there just to watch her dogs and house while she is away at the wedding.  That is her problem.

Also, by not getting involved I don't have to get involved in the shower thingies and gift giving.

IMHO, if the GS doesn't have a clue or care that we have been left out, then the h*ll with them.

What I do find interesting is how Twit goes around letting her Dad know now and before that he wasn't going to be invited.  It is like she thrives on the drama.  Well, actually she does.  I don't,

My guess is that since we aren't biting at her BS, she will start to get frantic as it gets closer to the wedding and she hasn't heard from us.  As Sandye says, appearances are everything  to Twit's kind and she wants to present a happy family to the brides parents and family.

Nine will get you ten that she has pulled this same carp on her BM and others.  What should be a happy family occasion ends up with Twit making it into a nightmare.  Then she will cry and blubber to her son and his new wife about how terrible we all are and what a victim she is.  Just the thought of that makes me want to puke.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I know I've said this before, but the person in this whole toxic soup who angers me the most is Twit's husband. He's chosen to stay with her, allowing her to torment and ruin their three kids while he plays the ostrich and buries himself in work to avoid being home. It was his duty to try to save his sons, but he didn't. Shame on him.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I now have to absolutely and totally agree with you Julie.  In the past he seemed the sane one, he would stop a lot of her nonsense and, quite frankly, she was terrified if I happened to inform her hubby of what she was pulling.  Though it was just fine with her to go and make all kinds of trouble telling lies, etc. to my DH.  One time when she did that and stirred my DH up where he was furious with me, for something I never said and never did.  That was when I found StepTalk.  Well, after getting chewed up by DH I wrote her hubby of exactly what she had done, what she had said, the results and even asked him what the h*ll was wrong with her.  It took all of 15 minutes for her to email my DH that I had contacted her hubby with stories about her.  My DH came into the computer room and asked me if I had contacted Twit's hubby etc.  I looked him straight in the face and said YES, I did.  Turn about was fair play.  That all I had told him was what Twit had told DH and that it was BS.  DH didn't say a word after that.  Obviously he agreed but wasn't going to say so.

Twit never pulled that carp again.  One thing she doesn't want is her DH to get pulled in.  Oh, her hubby made up excuses for her too, every one does.  THAT is a big part of the problem.  As long as she gets away with it she continues to do it, not that she could help herself because that is the way she is wired.

Though just a few months back Twit was telling DH that her hubby had moved into the spare bedroom because he couldn't deal with sleeping with the dogs (and I take that to mean Twit as well).  The dogs have always slept in their room so Twit may not be leveling.  She does this a lot  One of Twit's biggest fears is being abandoned and on her own.

For me the interesting thing there was that she would even tell DH someting like that unless she is setting things up for her to be the victim.  Don't know, don't care but it seemed strange. 

SacrificialLamb's picture

Google Histrionic Personality Disorder. It does not matter if the attention they receive is negative. They CRAVE attention.  I enjoy your posts because your TWIT and my OSD43 have a lot in common. OSD43 is an expert at telling her father things you normally would not tell your father, and it's all in an effort to be portrayed as a victim that he will feel sympathy for. She loves to make it sound as though she and her DH are having marital problems so she can be the victim. I have seen her do other things to get attention that surprised me, like at the beach announce she needs to pee and wants everyone to watch her walk into the water, pee with her arms up in the air (look at me!), and walk out. She also posted about her sex life on Facebook, where her parents and inlaws could see it. Uh, no thank you.

OSD43 also has a subordinate relationship with her own DH, where because of her immature behavior, he is constantly saying "OSD43, don't do that." "OSD43, don't say that."  It always reminded me of a father talking to a young daughter who did not know how to behave. What a shame that she is a parent herself.   

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thanks Sacrificial - I will look that one up.  Yep, Twit has no boundaries and respects no ones, not een her babies, boundaries.  Can you believe a parent would start talking, in public, about her one son saying that he is bisexual?  Dropped my jaw hearing that.  It was also said right in front of hm no doubt to let him know she is queen.  I mean whether the son is or is not, it is not Twits business to announce his sexual proclivity.

Or telling every one what Drunkie's counselor says his problem is and what the counselor says about him.  Now, no counselor is going to tell Mama Twit what went on between him and his client regardless of who pays the bills.  And Drunkie, well, he never says much period so I doubt that he ever had these big heart-to-heart conversations with her about his counseling sessions.  Of course Drunkies problems have absolutely NOTHING to do with Mama Twit, at least so she says....LOL!

She has these "babies" so screwed up that they tell her their personal business, at least according to what she talks about.  I think she believes that makes us all think she has a good relationship with them.  What it does is make people, like me, wonder what the h*ll is going on or went on in that house.  Thank heaven she never had daughters, I cringe to imagine what she would have done to them in that area.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Though I must say here.  Since we weren't invited, according to the Twit, I really do not want to go to that wedding.  I want nothing to do with Twit and I would have to endure her at the rehersal as well as the wedding and who knows what else.

I just find it interesting to see that even though we are hundreds of miles away she never changes.  Fasinating.  As long as she stays back there.  It is like studying a strange alien species 'cause one never knows what she will say or do.  Also, in some way I want to know where she is so that I can feel safe eventhough she can't get into our gated complex.