Wedding Situation with SS and his Fiance. Input please.
We are having to deal with the upcoming wedding of my DH's second child - his son.
His daughter got married this past summer, and it was a big drama. The wedding was outdoors, and fortunately the weather cooperated, between a very hot humid heat wave and then a very windy cold front came in afterwards. The wedding was "between" the two, so it worked out luckily.
Anyway, his daughter and her fiance never made any effort to have my DH meet his future SIL's parents. The SIL's parents were divorced, and the father was ill from cancer and died before the wedding, so that was understandable. The SIL's mother had moved back from Florida well before the wedding, and there was time for my DH to meet her, but the skids didn't make any effort do work it out. My DH had no way of contacting her and introducing himself.
The SD's wedding was on a Sunday, late in the afternoon, and the SD had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner on a Friday evening. This meant that if my DH was going to try and make both the wedding rehearsal/dinner and the wedding - because we live 2 hours away - he would have had to take a half-day off on Friday, and pay for a motel for that night, then possibly come home Saturday, and then we would drive back for the wedding on Sunday and stay the night in a motel, then he had to take off that Monday so we could get back home and relax. This would have meant he would have lost a whole days worth of work - and thus NO PAY for the hours he didn't work. On top of that the gas costs and motel costs would have been high.
The only reason they had the rehearsal on Friday night was because the officiant who was doing the wedding had another engagement on Saturday night. Well, from our investigations, if the daughter had really wanted her father at her rehearsal and dinner, they could have had them on Saturday, and had a "stand-in" officiant. After all, the pastor knew how to do a wedding, HE didn't need to rehearse! This is not an unusual thing to have done. This way my DH could have made the rehearsal and dinner, and met the future groom's mother, and it would have worked out much better for our budget, etc.... My husband was put in the position of having to choose "work and income, over rehearsal and dinner" - making HIM look like the bad guy because he didn't come to the rehearsal and dinner.
At my SD's wedding, the groom didn't even bother to introduce my DH to his mother (and her boyfriend who was dressed like he was going golfing). My DH's EX did it! :O
Anyway, after our experience with my SD's wedding, we are wondering if the SS and his fiance (the one who stalked me here) is going to pull the same rude, inconsiderate behavior. As I write this I realize it is a moot question. Of COURSE they will!
Now, to our question. My DH's son has lived with his fiance for several years. There has been PLENTY of opportunities for my SS and his fiance to work out a way for HER parents to meet my DH. The parents were at their daughters college graduation (and my SS's graduation which happened on the same day at the same college), but no effort was made to get them together, and nothing since has been done to make this happen.
It is the obligation of the engaged couple to arrange a meeting between the fiance's parents and the groom's parents. We know for a fact that the BM has met them - long ago, but my DH is still waiting to meet them.
When asked (about one month ago) if my DH will ever be able to meet the fiance's parents, we were given some excuse. It might be true what they told us, but we don't believe it is. They are scamming us once again.
IF we are invited to the wedding (which we aren't sure if we are after this last blow up I posted about) - but IF we are, and we go, (we doubt we will be invited to the rehearsal and dinner), how do you suggest my DH approach the fiance's parents and introduce himself? Should he say something like: "I am glad to finally get to meet you"? I am sorry we couldn't have met earlier." - or - just leave it up to the bride to see if she gets her act together at the wedding and introduces her parents to my DH?
"Conventional etiquette" calls for the parent(s) of the future groom to contact the bride's parents and introduce themselves. We don't have their address, or my husband would do this. There is no way this future "bridezilla" is going to give us her parents address.
We do NOT want the EX BM introducing my DH to the brides parents! This was totally tacky at my SD's wedding! The BM LOVED it that she already KNEW the groom's mother, and she flaunted it for all it's worth to my DH. }:)
Any suggestions or input on how to deal with my DH meeting, or introducing himself to his son's future inlaws?