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We Are At Our New Home and Very Tired

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, we are here. Our stuff comes later this week so we are sleeping on airbed. DD was so sweet. She mailed out, before we got here, gift cards for some of the restaurants....Olive Garden, etc. because she knows we don't have our stuff yet.

Oh how different from where we lived before. This is going to take some getting use to because I have always loved the four seasons. But the happy part is that it is TWIT FREE!!!

Twit called many times while we were traveling and a couple of times, always having the phone on speaker. One could hear how angry she is that we have moved. Drunkie is still doing his thing. I guess he gets drunk for a few days and passes out until they discover his "stash" and the cycle continues. Oh, what is SHE going to do. Drunkie doesn't want to go to counseling.

DH, and I could see the sadness in his face as he said this, told her Drunkie was HER problem and that he needed professional help and possibly an intervention; but that DH could and would do nothing about it. He told her that Drunkie lacks self-esteem (we have known that for a long while) and a lot of it because she treats him, and the others, as though they are incapable of doing anything right. Of course Twit went totally off the wall when DH said that and hung up...for about an hour and then called back. We just let it go. Not our problem.

Best all, she can't get to us to torment and cause trouble. Yippee!

But the sad thing is that we had to move across country to get away from her and her craziness.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Unfortunately, you are not away from her craziness and she can still get to you and cause trouble; your post illustrates that very fact.

If she is still able to pull on your DH (and your) strings via phone, the drama will continue. I would be concerned that your DH is obviously saddened by her, and he may be having some "buyers remorse" about moving.

If I were you, I would tread cautiously about being openly glad to be away from her. Your DH no doubt feels differently because it is still his daughter no matter what her faults are.

And as long as you let her occupy your head space, you are not free from her either.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

DH is concerned about Drunkie. Last we heard his counselor gave him antidepressants and then Drunkie went drinking and ended in hospital....or so the Twit said.

Believe me, DH cut her off quickly. Her problems are of her own making and DH isn't going to try to fix anything or console her. Let her husband deal with things. DH says that for some reason he doesn't feel that Twit's husband wants to get involved in the drama or with the Drunkie.

notasm3's picture

I just knew that was your post when I saw the name of the post.

Congratulations on getting there safely. I think I mentioned in a previous post that DH and I just made a 3500+ mile trip to Maine and back with many stops in between. It was great - but boy was I tired when I finally got back home. I'm still going to bed very early. You wouldn't think that just sitting in a car would be so tiring.

I moved across country many times. One has to adjust to different seasons, cultures, etc. - but it always works out. There's something good about everyplace.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi there. Yep, traveling is tiresome which is why we took our time and did some sightseeing on our way across the USofA.

Totally different out here. Love the opportunity to learn more about the history of this area etc. I LOVE learning things.

FWIW, I also feel safe because with the gated community, even if Twit were to show up (which I do doubt) she couldn't get at me.

I know that I am gong to have what is vulgarly called a crying jag to get rid of all the Twit tension and the stress from moving.

Twinkletoes's picture

Congratulations and enjoy your new life and home. Hoping it's a peaceful happy place for you

CANYOUHELP's picture

I do not know Twit very well, but from what I have read I do not like her either and enjoy your new home, miles away from Twitville...

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I know Twit very well and I don't like her either. A nastier, meaner, self-centered person I have never met.

Heck, she even gets jealous of her own "babies". Several years back I started collections for them of those Presidential dollars....the folder and coins for each grandson. Can you believe Twit pouted and carried on as though she was slighted until DH gave her our set. THEN she was happy. Boy was I teed off at him for that one, but luckily I could replace them as it was at the beginning of the series.

A normal person would be happy that her "babies" were remembered with the starting of such collection. She is jealous of her own children! As I have said on numerous occasions....she WANTS. For years I would get the coins as they came out. Until 2011 when Twit really came out, after that I was done. Collected them for myself and no one else.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Agree - She is jealous of her own children. That should speak volumes about why they are so messed up.

sandye21's picture

Glad you are safe and sound - away from Twit. She is ramping up the phone calls because you are now physically out of her reach. So she is creating a phone campaign so she still has a sense of control over you and DH. DH needs to ask her to limit her phone calls or answer so many calls from her then stop. I'm betting he hits his saturation point soon anyway.

Good luck to you. Hope you enjoy your new surroundings.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye - Having coffee on the patio and looking at the mountains in the distance. Beautiful!
Yes, she is doing just what you said. I imagine she is totally upset and beyond herself that she can't get to me, to us....I got out of her spider web of craziness.

I am certain DH will start limiting his answering her calls and if he doesn't I will quietly step in. Want to give him a chance, after all it is a big move even for him.

We are closer to his eldest daughter (she is about 400 miles away) so we may see more of her and her family. We have always been on good terms with them. SHE is normal. We have spent time at their place and they are all quite nice.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Great to hear you made it safely.

Your life would be ever better if Twit would text instead of call. She could whine to your DH to her heart's content without cutting up your peace. }:)

Acratopotes's picture

yeah congrats on the new life style... stalker Twit free.....

Never give her the new land line number... she can only reach DH on his mobile.... he can deal with her, but so far it seems DH decided she's on her own!!! And hell NO - she can't visit for TG nor for Xmast.....

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Trust me, DH and I have agreed, Twit is not invited for TG or Christmas. Enough Twit is enough. DH was pretty well finished with her on Thanksgiving after she invited us over for TG dinner, and before dinner was even over got up and announced she and her "babies" were going shopping! DH was so shocked his jaw dropped.

She left us with her hubby, whom I made it quite clear to that leaving on us before dinner was over (heck, DH was still eating and the pie hadn't even been cut) was inappropriate and insulting. DH said it wasn't going to happen again and it never has.

I remember she called the next day, on her way out shopping again, apologizing and saying that I could have gone with her. The next year she called and invited us for Thanksgiving Dinner to be served at noon. The stores were opening earlier and she wanted to get there. DH told her thanks, but no thanks and she was miffed, but honestly, she doesn't get it.

Acratopotes's picture

SDM - I envy you dammit - you got away from this crazy woman and now we will not hear about her shyt anymore....

Maybe I should move to her town and keep all informed... }:)

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Trust me - you don't want to deal with this type of crazy. There are things I have never posted because they are so bizarre it is even hard for me to believe she did what she did.

Thank your lucky stars.

FWIW, I did inquire of DH, before the move, if I could expect any problems with his other daughter because she has always been so nice, considerate, caring....not at all like the Twit. He said empathically, no. He then repeated that Twit has "problems", some of which he has brought up and others he won't talk about.

Heck, even Twit's BM stays clear of her. Does make one wonder. The only thing I know about that is that Twit always bad mouths the BM UNTIL she thinks she can get something from her. And her other siblings stay far away from her.

The only one Twit gets along with is the Wacky Auntie, and she is really a wacko even according to Twit.

Rags's picture

Congratulations on your new home and your new life together. I hope that your DH can continue to keep the separation that he has been building.

Enjoy your new adventure together.

Tuff Noogies's picture

glad you guys made it safe and sound! that was very sweet of your daughter to mail gift cards to restaurants - very thoughtful.

i agree with the sentiments above that twit is ramping up the calls to maintain some sort of control over your dh. maybe he could limit her to once or twice a week??? idk, make something up like "i had my number moved to a pre-paid phone to save some money due to the move. so as to not burn through my minutes i'll only be able to talk to you twice a week."

again, congrats on the successful move. i hope the distance from twit is successful as well in bringing you greater peace!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Tuff, yes DD is very thoughtful.. That is how family should be; it is the little things that make us feel loved and cared for.

We have DD's van (they have our car) until they come out for Thanksgiving or Christmas, whatever they can arrange. It was much easier traveling with our luggage, dog, etc. in the van than in the car.

notasm3's picture

We have a van that we travel in (Honda Odyssey). It's over 10 years old so we are beginning to think about replacing it. DH would rather not be driving a van. But they are so practical.

A good portion of my friends have vans because it's a good way to tote multiple grandchildren around or because they travel a lot by car. We have two homes so we are constantly toting furniture, "stuff", food, etc between the two places.

After Katrina I took the middle seats out, folded the back seats down, and used it as a truck. It was impossible to get deliveries so I bought two twin mattresses and foundations and brought them home in my van. I bought a lightweight foam couch that I also personally delivered in my van. Of course I was a decade younger then too.

Rags's picture

My parents have a Suburban and it hauls kids/DILs and grandspawn quite well and frequently. When we move back to the states we are considering getting one (4x4)as our primary vehicle and a sports car as our second vehicle.

We have never done a van though I did drive one in high school for two years (Jr and Sr year). Many stories were made in that van. Wink }:)

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

A Honda Odyssey is what we are using right now. Lots of room for out dog and stuff while traveling out here. Great, as you say, for hauling patio furniture we just purchased. Though, like you, we are not as young as we use to be. We just take our time and lift things together.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I think Twit will burn up the line, answered or not, until the realization that we are out of her grip sets in. Of course with her, might take a while.

I can tell you that DH really changed after she pulled a few things on him this year, like only contacting him when she wanted something, etc. Even he couldn't deny she is a user.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Furniture is being delivered tomorrow and then I can get rid of that damn air mattress So hard to get up from.

It is very nice, not having to look over my shoulder for Twit and the possibility of dealing with her.

Our former neighbors do not think much of her. One neighbor's daughter use to buy those pots and pans she sells from her, but found another person to buy from. In the 6 years we lived there not once did they see Twit or her hubby come over and help us; BUT they saw us watching their dogs, running to take care of Drunkie, etc. The neighbors are the ones that helped us out, not Twit.

They thought she really had gall to ask DH to put in doors and windows for her.

You all know what they say about karma....well, she is getting it back 10 fold. Unfortunately, it is through Drunkie who I am afraid will take the brunt of the Twit sickness. Twit would rather watch him destroy himself, while enabling him, so she can keep the fa├žade of a perfect family up. She doesn't realize that people see through it.

I do pray, and ask for prayers, for Drunkie. I cannot help but think that if Twit did not do everything she could to keep Drunkie from really paying up for his DUI, which would have included getting help, instead of getting him a lighter jail time sentence etc., it would have been much better for him. According to Twit, every LIED about Drunkie, the police etc.; eventhough he was 2X over the legal limit when he went off the road.

Sometimes I think that this is Drunkie's way of asking for help....getting drunk, acting out, etc. I pray it doesn't come to a bad ending for Drunkie. But as Sandye once said, it wouldn't affect Twit because then she could cry about how she lost a son to the demon alcohol etc. and never face the fact that she was the enabler.

But, not my problem, though I do care for the grandson.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Furniture here...yeah!!!! Now we can watch tv without sitting on the floor and get rid of that damn air mattress.

As I expected, I had my crying jag and let out a lot of pent up tension from both Twit and the stress of moving.

I was putting linen in the linen closet when I just started bawling because I was so happy to be here. I started thinking about how bad things could have been if we hadn't moved. DH, if he had not changed, would have ended up like Twit's dogs and Drunkie.....ignored until he passed and then she would have come looking for inheritance. I couldn't help but think about the dog that Twit let pretty much die because she didn't notice. Or the one with the fatty tumor that got to be the size of a basketball. Poor creature had a difficult time getting up because of it. It had been growing for years and over the last few years had gotten huge and really impeded the animal.

There, too, DH made her go to the vet, he took her, where the vet told her the tumor was so big etc. that she MUST either have it removed or put the dog down! She did opt to have it removed but maybe only because DH was there with her. There again, it was one of those situations where she claimed she never noticed how big the tumor had become. Don't believe that for a moment. DH had been telling her about it for quite a while. This came to mind because last night on the news they had a case of a lab that had a huge tumor where it hindered the dog's movement and the animal control came in and got the dog from the owners. The tumor was removed and the dog was healthy and up for adoption. That is what made me think of how cruel Twit is.

Our dog had one of those tumors and our vet (who is the same vet she has) told us when it was going to affect the dog's movement so we could have it removed. I am certain he did the same to her. It shows just how uncaring and cruel, as well as cheap, Twit is.

And, if I think about it, she does the same thing with the Drunkie. Only when it is going to be a reflection on her does she do something.

I know we are quite lucky. If left to her, she would probably do her best to send us on her way so she could "clean out the refrig".

Oh, it feels so much better to have that tension and know out of my stomach.

sandye21's picture

SDM, SOOO happy for you that you are away from Twitsville. Now you are some distance from it so that gives you time (and a bit of space) to reflect on how bad the situation actually was. I experienced this for some time after after banning SD from our home. She is welcome to return as long as she can respect me as DH's wife so I doubt I will have to ever see her sorry a$$ again.

Anyway, when I was away from SD for a while all of these memories began to regurgitate from the past - memories that had been temporarily forgotten. Memories of some of the sadistic and abusive things she had said and done to me. How often DH had thrown me under the bus. Even today I wonder why I could have been so blind or stupid to have allowed this stuff to go on for so long. But I am so much happier without her is my life.

As these memories of Twit's craziness unfold, you will be amazed you survived it and even MORE amazed how happy you are for getting away from it. I know I am!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sandye says: "Memories of some of the sadistic and abusive things she had said and done to me. How often DH had thrown me under the bus. Even today I wonder why I could have been so blind or stupid to have allowed this stuff to go on for so long. But I am so much happier without her is my life"

So agree. And even with all I posted here there are a lot of things I didn't because they were just so, well more than weird.

Now, if it would have been me about Twit and her dogs, I would have called the Humane Society. If you look at what she did to her children it is the same thing. Feeding and clothing them is NOT the same as really loving and taking care of them. She has them believing that they can't do anything right, which is probably why Drunkie, out of all of them, is the one really acting out. Part of being a parent is to encourage your young to do things, teach them, and get them ready to leave the nest. It is not to tie them to you by making them dependent on you so you can play martyr about how tough you have it dealing with them.

Yes, I have done my share of crying about Twit, but I have also taken actions, abiet tough actions in some cases. What I have done is gotten support that what I was dealing with just wasn't right and normal (people like Twit try to make one believe that you didn't understand or they didn't do the mean things they did to you....gaslight).

Actually, I think that DH is really afraid of Twit himself because of what she is. That is why he agreed to counseling etc. when he saw where he was going to end with her. Probably saw his life span being shortened by her "loving" care/neglect.