We’re meeting with an estate attorney
We have wiils. The problem is DH was recently told by a trusted non-gossipy family member (which adds credence to the shared info) that this person has information that should DH die (which almost happened last fall), his adult skids will contest DH's will unless they feel they are left an appropriate amount of money. It's about a sense of entitlement as well as punishment. The thing is his will leaves everything to me (skids don't know this, but I assume it's suspected). We live in a state where a contested will could hold things up for years, which would very much harm me even if everything was ultimately ruled in my favor.
This news was jarring, to say the least. It has shaken me to my core. I feel very naive that it has hit me this way. Why would I be surprised? I guess because I can't imagine having such a plan, especially against someone who has never harmed me.
So, we are going to set up trusts and be very clear and specific about property. I have all of my plans in order so that the skids never benefit from what I have. Initially, DH asked me that should he pass before me to give the skids whatever (cash-or property-wise) I felt I could do without hurting myself financially. Now, he doesn't want them to have anything except perhaps belongings of his that I might not want.
I know it's been said in here before and people have given good advice. Get everything in order if you haven't already. Imagine the worst of what could happen and act on that.
Im saddened and disgusted (again).