UPDATE ON PARTNER'S ADULT CHILDREN (SS33, SS30, SD25, SD21)
In early February, my partner's two sons both realized that the guilt they were feeling about their perceived disloyalty to BM was displaced. In two separate phone calls, they told their father that they happily accept that he has moved on after 15 years of separation.
Then, in late February, SS33 and his wife invited us for a meal at their home and then, in mid-March, SS30 and his wife invited us out for dinner. Both occasions were pleasant. Both sons were respectful and kind, as were their spouses.
Also, within the last 30 days, SD21 moved out of the matrimonial home into an apartment with her fiance. The following week SD25 and her husband moved out of the matrimonial home into their own apartment, but apparently my partner is not supposed to know. BM stated that the house was just too big for her with everyone gone. This is the moment my partner was waiting for; that his children moved out of the matrimonial home of their own volition.
My partner's daughters still hope that their mother reconciles with their father, but they can't stand to live with her so they moved out. Their brothers and my partner are happy he that they moved out, since they are far away from the family drama pot stirred by BM.
I don't talk about my partner's daughters with him other than to say, "now you can visit them outside of the matrimonial home". In the last couple of weeks, he has tried to set up times to visit them, but they have blown him off. However, the requirement that he visit them at the matrimonial home is eliminated as they now have their own places and he now refuses to go to the matrimonial home.
The roof has just been completed on the matrimonial home, so it is now sale-ready. An appraiser is being retained to assess the value of the home. I am excited that the divorce is moving ahead and had been hopeful that the house would soon be on the market.
However, BM just recently decided that she doesn't want to move and convinced the two sons who are doing well financially to offer to buy out my partner's interest on behalf of their mother. Ideally, she would like to co-own the house and share the debt with my partner, but he and I want a clean break from my partner's financial and other entanglements with BM.