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Tired of the SS BS. Sometimes you can't be nice

MirandaT's picture

So tired of another issue always happening with SS. I was being nice by giving him 90 days but nope he has to leave asap. If not then everyone have to go!!! Found SS washing his girlfriend clothes in my house and he didnt think it was no big deal. He doesnt work due to him wanting to be an Entreprenuer and doesnt contribute. He has no rights to do anything like that in my house. Had his dog in the house for a few days which I did not know while he was at his GF house. Came home to dog poo all over my living room because he had not walked the dog in days. Lied to his father that he walked him  that day. I told my husband he really need to start looking at the cameras because he will then find that his son lied. Im constantly being disrespected in my own home. I told him he should have been removed when he allowed his mother in my house who I despise. She does not like me and still wants a relationship with my DH. He said he feels like I dont like his son because I am always coming to him about addressing these issues. At this point, I dont care what he thinks. This is just ridiculous at this point. I am not apologizing for having rules in my own home. I don't care if his son doesnt like me. I'm tired. I love my husband but if he can't see the error of his son ways, then we need to move on and call it quits. I've had family members live with me in the past and I can't do it anymore especially when these people do not respect my home. 

If we happen to divorce, I will resent my DH because he allowed his son to come between us. I never once thought that adult SSkids will cause this many problems. 

Winterglow's picture

I suggested in your last post that you go to your local courthouse to find out how to evict him legally. Please take the legal route.

MirandaT's picture

I thank you for that advice. I am dealing with a lot right now with losing my brother and grandmother and trying to handle this the best way I can for now.  He told me he was leaving in April but I believe it when I see all his things gone. 

Winterglow's picture

I am truly sorry for your loss - that's a lot for one person to bear. (((((HUGS)))))

I do, however, have a question for you. You mentioned in your last post that BM keeps trying to cause trouble in your relationship. Why isn't she blocked on all media? Her son is 30, there should be no reason for your DH to continue talking to her ...

How about putting up a calendar somewhere prominent in your home with a page per month. You could draw a huge explosion of joy around 1st April and be very obvious about crossing the days off until then. Also, keep asking your SS if he's found somewhere yet (don't go through your husband because you know he won't do anything). Badger him about it. It doesn't matter if it makes him feel uncomfortable - it's about time it was his turn.

Best wishes.

Survivingstephell's picture

Of course you don't like his son! How could you like his failed parenting experiment!   DH is the AH.  Get yourself to a lawyer or two or three and find out how this would end up.  Facts are good to have and give you leverage.   

Also, SS would not come between you and DH  and cause break up, DH's apathy towards your marriage is bringing it to the breaking point.   

Exjuliemccoy's picture

OMG! I would be LIVID! And OF COURSE you don't like your H's son, because dad didn't bother RAISING HIM TO BE LIKEABLE! 

So are you just venting, or did you actually stop enabling and boot the loser out? I hope you've booked a professional to clean and sanitize your carpets - with your H footing the bill.

MirandaT's picture

I am venting but I don't enable the son. I've said my peace that son needs to go asap or I marriage will not make it. I'm dealing with a lot with grieving the loss of my little brother and grandmother. I'm handling this the best way I can for now.  I don't like to be emotional when handling situations because it can turn ugly. I like to be level headed. My H is definetly footing the bill of replacing all the carpet and floors. 

SeeYouNever's picture

I don't understand how parents keep making excuses for kids that are obviously in the wrong.

None of them respect you. I would be done. Why should you have to clean up after two adult men?

CLove's picture

And Im sorry for your loss. Thats huge. Take some time for just you, really give yourself time to process.

But as to SS, well hes outworn his welcome and needs to go. Period.Dot.

Rags's picture

The person who forces the time to not be nice asked for it. 

So, deliver on not nice. Have SS served with an cease and decist order.  Get rid of him. If DH whines, get rid of him too.

Parents who embrace toxic, even in their own spawn, are not quality mates.

IMHO of course.