These days, it seems like anything goes.
And this is not directed at any one person or situation in particular. But the stories that surface on this site and others really do seem to be clear examples of just how far we have gone downhill as a society.
Granted, we have improved in many areas. We know more about disabilities and how to deal with them, we've advanced in medical research, and much awareness has been raised about the evils of discrimination towards anyone.
But it seems like our culture has really taken a nosedive, especially over the last 30 years. More people are growing up in divorced homes. More kids are being born to people who do not know each other or have no plans of committing to each other. People are living together before marriage. People are having kids before marriage. No, none of the aforementioned things are criminal, but just look at how much stress, chaos, sadness and anger they wreak on the lives of those involved.
Customs and etiquette seem to have gone out the window. Nobody seems to really care about them any more. I get thank you notes from my older friends and relatives for gifts, but do not from people my own age and under. As evidenced on this board, a growing number of people from my generation have no qualms or misgivings about treating others like crap. If they do, they do not show them. They have no problem coming around to ask for money and/or get gifts, but do not seem to be interested in giving anything back. They claim to be "too busy" to pick up the phone to call and say hi, come over, ask the other person how they are doing, etc.
They expect THEIR BFs/SOs/FDHs/DHs to be treated with respect by Dad and everyone else, but think it is a-ok to $hit on the SP. I will admit that adult SKs can more easily walk away from the situation if they dislike the SP and I wish more of them would. If you cannot play nice, go away until you can. Younger SKs can't do that so easily, but I know some have. In the cases of the younger ones I think Dad needs to get them counseling and/or something else to help address their problems. But the adult SKs should have jobs and should be seeking out help themselves unless they have some sort of diagnosed disability- then the bioparent may have to be more involved.
So many people seem to do what feels good at the time and when others question or disagree with it, say "let he who be without sin cast the first stone." Fellow SM LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian come to mind. Many SKs seem to do this too. They do something that feels good, but when someone disagrees, they geet upset.
Weddings- don't even get me started on this. Many couples live together before marriage these days. So many people in my age range expect their parents will give them money to help pay for a big extravaganza of a wedding. Why does it have to be a big, big, extravagant thing? What happened to the simple but elegant ceremonies and celebrations of yesteryear? And how long do those who have big extravaganza weddings expect their marriage to last? It seems to me like most of those who have such lavish weddings land in divorce court fairly soon after. Look at Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (I will say good for her for dumping him). But the point is, these people had HUGE, outlandish ceremonies and got divorced fairly soon after. And Kim K got pregnant with Kanye's baby before her divorce was official!
Which leads me to another point. Our culture has not been helped by reality tv. We have people looking up to the likes of the Kardashians, Snooki, Kanye, Chris Brown, and others like them, and these people will be running our country in a few years. :sick:
I miss the days where things were more...outlined. You got married before you had kids. You wrote thank you notes. Other peoples' marriages were respected. Divorce was not occuring as frequently as it is today. People were actually parenting their kids. Expectations for decent behavior were prevalent. Our culture has become a total free-for-all.
Boy, can I relate to this.
Boy, can I relate to this. Back when I was in school, the nuns would have us kneel down to make sure our skirts were long enough. And, yes, patent leather shoes were forboden as heaven forbid they might reflect under your skirt.
My Mother and Grandmother DEMANDED manners. Yes mam, no mam, etc.
OP, what a great post! How
OP, what a great post! How true. Seems too many people have totally forgotten manners. People do not seem to have time these days to sit down and have a meal together, which I find tragic.
Gone are the manners of my generation and my parents and grandparents. Good heavens, if I showed up at Grandmother's Sunday dinner in sweats or casual clothes I would certainly have been told to go change into something suitable.
One thing I mentioned in one of my posts it that manners, table manners still matter. I have talked to many a college grad who, in the interview process, has told me that they were taken out to a nice restaurant by the prospective boss. I have no doubt this is to see if the person has the manners necessary for the position and does know what fork to use, what a napkin is for and not to eat peas off the knife blade. Sounds trivial, but it DOES matter.
Heck, I love it when DH and others hold open the door for me. I don't know if you have seen this, but there is an advertisement about good manners that shows an older woman and some young (high school) boys at a stop light. When the light turns green, she puts her arm through the arm of one of the young men and asks if she can help him across the street. You see, she is the one that really needs the help. And, he does hold on to her arm and assist her.
And let's not get started on the ME generation.
Also, I have long believed that one of the roads for a young woman to remain in poverty is for her to have children without getting married (although sometimes that isn't too great either) at a young age. In the past, young women who got pregnant were sent to live with "Aunt Polly" who needed their help (you get the drift) for an extended period. Today, and it seems to have started around the 1970's....young Suzie gets pregnant, isn't married, has no intention of getting married, an her Mother is thrilled, I tell you, and can't wait to throw the shower and have a grandchild. Too many times, Granny ends up raising the child as Suzie skips off to do whatever it is she does, or repeats the scenario several times with several different men.
You know, it is sad that there are animals, like geese, that mate for life. Who says animals don't have any sense. I once recall driving by a retaining pond where a goose had evidently been run over by a car and was on the side of the road. It's mate was standing next to it honking and probably feeling grief at the loss of its mate.
Here's a story that will make
Here's a story that will make you feel good.
We had leftovers and my DH took a plate down to a young woman he'd been talking to when walking the dog. (we're in a high rise)
The next morning I not only had my plate back clean but a lovely thank you note addressed to both of us but mostly written to me on nice stationery. Someone raised this young girl right. She's about 22 or 23.
That does make me feel good.
That does make me feel good. Thank you for sharing that!
Amazing! I know a few women
Amazing! I know a few women in their 20's like this but the majority are like the stepshits we read about here: entitled, lazy, selfish and disrespectful!
The scariest part is indeed
The scariest part is indeed what will happen to those of us who are older once these "kids" grow up and begin to rule the world? What kind of world will that be?
I figure they will come up with a plan to put us all on ice floes and push us out into the ocean or dump us all in a desert somewhere. Maybe they will be "generous" enough to allot us each a cyanide pill!
I certainly don't expect anything compassionate from the mostly narcissistic generations coming up now. It's going to be every dog for themselves.
Thanks everyone, I agree.
Thanks everyone, I agree. It's a culture rot and it is so scary. It's scary that people who look up to the likes of Snooki, Kim Kardashian, Kanye and others like them will be running our world soon. Most of these people wouldn't know etiquette if it hit them in the face.
In rereading this I was
In rereading this I was reminded of that show, the reality show that I believe was cancelled before it even stated. It was called something like All My Baby Momma's and was about some guy who had children by all these different women and I think they were all living in the same house and he was supporting all of them.
There is the problem upfront. It is very sad that our society would think something like this was even interesting. To me, regardless of how much $$$ the guy had he was still a low life.
I totally agree with you
I totally agree with you Cheri.
I'm only 40 and the things nowadays that kids have access to or pressure to be like was just non existent in my world.
I look at some of SD14's friends on facebook (a lot of them have open profiles, no privacy settings at all) and there they are all duck lipped, boobs hanging out, posing in these sex kitten poses at their camera phones and then posting them online for the world to see. I wonder how they'd feel knowing some creepy old guy is jacking off looking at these photos of them????
Watch almost any tv show on and it's blatantly obvious where we're headed as a society. Honey Boo Boo? Let's glorify people who eat like pigs and need subtitles to understand ENGLISH. Teen Mom? Title says it all.
If this is what kids are seeing as "normal" and parents are allowing them to walk all over them, what more can we expect?
Cheri - I think your daughter
Cheri - I think your daughter is right. It is tough to be growing up in today's world when there is such a lack of values running rampant and so many pitfalls and pressure on the young.
I remember taking a big sigh of relief when my DD graduated from high school and didn't get into any trouble. Of course she knew I would come down pretty hard on her if she did and I always let her know I was watching. FWIW, she once had her steady boyfriend of the time stand her up. Here she was waiting, waiting, calling his house (before cells were so in). I watched her, said nothing, but watched. The next day this boyfriend shows up at the house and I stopped him before I called my DD to let her know he was there. I told him that he was suppose to pick up my DD last night and didn't show and call. That was unacceptable to the "women" of this house and I didn't want to see or hear about it happening again, that if something comes up and he has to cancell his plans with her, he should at least have the courtesy of calling her. I told him he cannot and will not treat the women of this house that way or he would not be welcome.
Well, turns out DD was in the doorway behind me and heard what I said. Her remarks to the boyfriend? "Well, you heard what my Mother said."
After a talk with her about expecting boyfriends to respect her and how things like that show disrespect (I also told her to wait for a date to open the car door and doors and if he didn't, to let him go without her) she broke up with him. She didn't do it right away, but when what I said sank in she cut him loose. As well she should have.
I think it would be very hard
I think it would be very hard today especially as a young teen to stay on the right track. I remember when those hormones first hit. Peer pressure (to be good) really helped me not to make some really stupid mistakes.