Therapy
I had a great therapy session today. My therapist understands that my H does not get it. I need to explain to him that his expectations and thoughts on my role are way different than my own. I am not a parent to SD and I have never been her step parent or Mom. She has come in and out of my life never a permanent person in my home and now she is. I’ve never taken the role to discipline her or set boundaries, etc. we have lived in another state away from her for the past 3 years! 2x a year visits with her Dad, all fun and then back home to reality.
I’m the wife of her father. I’m an adult role model and she is now an adult herself.
I need to explain all this to my delusional H. I know it’s going to break his heat but it’s all the truth. My dynamic of everyday life has changed and on top of it, I have to deal with her on going mental health issues and anxiety.
thankfully I get a two week break from SD and I can sit down with my H and tell him all this. Going to be super tough, but has to be said.
So hard to have those
So hard to have those conversations but harder to start! Just say it in love and remember your mental and emotional health need to come first so you’re better equipped to deal with others - especially her.
So why is she now permanent in your home if she’s an adult? And absolutely there must be expectations and boundaries. Everyone will be happier and things will go much more smoothly with those solid boundaries in place and you and DH backing each other up 100% all the time!
She is going to community
She is going to community college near our home. She is 18 and moved cross country to go to college.
SD is co-dependent on BM and my H just thinks that SD loves it here and one big happy family.
this makes the conversation even harder...
That wasn’t a good move
To let her move in. When you really didn’t have her any amount of time before. Unfortunately, you are now in a position, not to br her mother, but a caretaker to keep her and your home running smoothly. She has to be in at a certain time, has to clean up, do certain things. Has to,ask permission for over night guest, ect,ect.
I get it. H loves his
I get it. H loves his daughter and I am here to support him but I am not her parent and I’m not falling into that role because she now lives with us
and how come every other post is about how much people hate their Skids. I’m just venting and having the same feelings!!