Surface level conversation then click
SD only calls to vent her misery of living with bio ex "her mom". Horrible screamer of obscenities, demeaning attitude towards everyone.
Calls to imply things. But never come right out and say them. Invites herself to our trips to (where SHE WANTS TO GO). The other day she called ask are (you coming to (HER FAVORITE PLACES) this fall. As we had planned. Shes 3k miles away. DH said no (covid19) . SD said she was in need if a vacation to get away from drunk drama. Dh said you've got to get out if there. Sd is 23. Works 4 hours a day when she wants to. Cant even afford a cell phone bill. DH said maybe you can call (her uncle) that lives at her favorite place and vacation with him. Then dh said maybe you can fly out to see dad? We live in a beach state. She said no. He said "your that afraid to fly?"
Get this....when the conversation turned to....SD . cone to see. DAD... she had to go bye......lol... IN OTHER WORDS DADS NOT COMING TO ME AT MY FAVORITE STATE, and not paying for my vacation , then I didn't get my way. I'm hanging up now.
Pluss if she came to visit DAD then she'd be forced to see me. She would be out if her comfort ZONE. Would be FORCED to take her place as quest, and daughter. No longer THE CENTER IF ATTENTION.
I absolutely insist that DH and I go to (State).....just he and I my first time there. See all the sights HE AND I ALONE. This state was where his family is, where he grew up, went to school, and lived for most of his life. This state is also where his "first family, ex and kids vacationed ". So my first trip there I don't want to hear the (enmeshed SD) conversation remember when WE THIS THAT. Not my first trip there, and not my first meeting her.
She refuses to come to her Dad, refuses to acknowledge me, and always invites herself to our trips there. Fortunately all those trips have been canceled.
But hes gradually letting her know its WE. She's becoming a real problem to US.