Strange Photo Phenomenon...
I am pretty much disengaged from Adult SD32 and her clan but I've noticed something odd since she had her kids.
Her father (my SO) has to ASK for pics of the grandskids and she typically uses the excuse that her phone was out of power/she didn't have any on her phone/she has to see what her DH has, etc.
Then when she gets around to sending them they are always these awful, blurry phone pics and videos. Half the time it's of the back or top of the kids' heads where you can barely glimpse their faces. My SO shows these to me and I usually make some noncommittal remark, "Oh, cute!" because I don't want to get into discussions about them nor do I want to comment about what lousy photos they are - I have to remember to disengage, disengage, disengage.
Over the years, I have noticed that SD does post professional family photos on her public-facing page so I know they have "good" family photos and good photos of the grandkids. SD has never, not once, send her father one of these pictures taken at birthdays and holidays. SD is well aware her father is not on FB so would not see these pics. She has never sent her father any physical photos either. This Christmas, it was a bunch of hand-painted kid "arts and crafts" but not a single photo of them.
One of the kids had a birthday and yet again, SO had to ASK for her to please send a pic or two of the grandkids. Once again, she used the excuse that her phone ran out of power so she didn't have any but when she got a chance she would get some from her DH and send to SO.
She then sends him a couple of blurry, crappy phone photos which he showed me. I immediately noticed the kids were quite dressed up in fancy clothes which I am assuming because they did some sort of professional family photo again.
I really don't understand why SD is so averse to sending her dad good pics of her kids? Then something dawned on me - I am certain that BM is present for most of these events so she is probably prominently featured in many of the pictures. Or maybe she is the one who istakes the photos herself and doesn't want to "share" any of them, knowing they will be going to SO.
Yet that still does not answer why SD doesn't send him one of the professional shots. I just don't get it. Unless of course, BM is paying for all the professional photo shoots (probably as a "gift" to SD and family) so she can have control, saying she doesn't want any of them shared with SO.
In either case, BM's parental alienation took very deep roots and SD still does not think of her father as her parent, thus he is not worthy of being treated like a grandparent either. For those with adult skids who have not yet had kids, it bears mentioning that parental alienation is a contagious disease and will be passed down generations. Be forewarned.
Fundamentally, I think it's a shame that grandpa still does not have a single decent photo of the grandskids. Not one. Nothing he can proudly show others since they are such blurry, horrible quality. And I know it breaks his heart. Which is always hard to watch...