Stepdaughter coming into our lives
So I will just jump right in. My DH has a an adult daughter from a previous marriage. She is 21 and has a 2 yr old child of her own. SD was never really around during her teenage years due to issues DH had with ex wife. He was more present while SD was younger, but as she got older, SD became more like her mother and DH’s family (his parents and siblings) did not want his daughter around. So needless to say, when I entered his life, his family had a lot to say about his daughter. His own mother told me to never trust her. But because I love him, In the beginning, I pushed DH to try harder with SD. She would come around for a week or two and then disappear for months and just blatantly tell DH that she didn’t want to be around him. Her and her mother would only come around when they needed more money then child support then they would disappear. My DH would just be crushed every single time. He always tried to be with his daughter, he tried to make he apart of our lives but she told him she wanted nothing to do with me or our daughters that we have together. Now fast forward to now, her and her mother are financially in a very bad place and now she is starting to reach out to DH again. She is giving him a sob story about her mother whom she always defended in the past, she is saying she doesn’t want to live with her mother anymore and is basically hinting that she wants to live with him. I do not want her to live with us. She has a 2 year old child, and we have our 3 and 4 year old. DH and I are 16 years apart and SD is only 8 years younger then me. I do not want to raise a 21 year old and her child when I am only 29 raising my own toddlers. I have a great job and earn a good living but I also work very hard for what I have. I do not want to deal with any negative or drama and bring that around my daughters. I feel I am being selfish but I am just tired of the roller coasters we have gone through over the years with SD and all of the hurt, lies and manipulation, I just don’t want to do it anymore. I definitely do not want her in my home. Please give me advice. Thanks.