Step Dad That Need Help Coping With 2 Disrespectful Adult Twins Living At Home
Hello, I'm a 49 year old male who have two twins that hate each other and they seem to not love their mom. It's like the cain & able story. The boys are 21 and live with us. One of the twins just got out of jail and said he rather be in jail. He caught 10 or 11 charges in which 5 were dropped. As soon he got out he walked down to a car lot and broke into a car lot, into the building and stole a gun. When the cops came he ended ressisting arrest and hurt two cops, so now he have 3 obstructions willing to harm a cop in addition to 2nd degree burgulary, commission of a firearm etc. The judge let released him on a signature bond and my and my wife was devasted because we didn't expect a immate with 6 felonies to get bail and we wasn't ready for him to come home. Now the one of the problem is he been to peachford mental facilty 3 weeks before his first crimes and every since then it's been hell at home! He's at home now waiting on his pretrial which can take months or a year. He's very violent, fights with neighbors and almost got shot twice by some thugs. As a step parent I see everything so clear that his mother don't see. She let's him talked back to her in a very disrespectful tone and refuse to take his medicine. He slams the doors in the house, he gets very angry at us especially his mother just because she want let him drink alcohol. She enables him big time. His mother buy all his food, give him money, let him talked back to her, etc. He don't want to work either all he do is stay home 24/7 Sunday to sunday and eat our food. I don't want him home or the twin brother in which he is the worst the other. I don't know if I should move out and live her or try to hang in their being supportive. I'm so tired and both our blood pressure is up. I don't feel safe in the house at all. I even brought a gun. How should I cope with this? I try not to be alone with them at the house ever because of the loud music, distraction, weed smoking around the house. I get tired of trying to raise and discipline two 21 year old men. I don't have the money to move and get a place and I have an eviction that will stop me from getting an apt right now. I'm not their real father and actually we are not married, it just feel like it. Please I need help.
1. Someone bonded this kid out....who ? You ? His MOM? GRANNY
2. Somone said AND agreed the adult kid would move back. You, MOM, Granny?
3. Where did you move FROM when you moved in with this woman?
4. Call the cops everytime you smell weed. Call the cops every time they are causing problems and tell the cops your afraid of them. YOU WANT THEM OUT because your scared.
5. Call the homeless shelter or take a cab, bus, walk there.
Or you can just stay put.
There are 10000 reasons one cant leave. 1 reason is all you need to go.
Sounds like you have to take
Sounds like you have to take charge and make them move out, since it doesn't sound like your wife wants them there either, but can't say no to them. Would she support you being the "bad guy" and forcing them out? You would have to give them notice, depending on how long they've lived there, since they are tenants by law, most likely.
If she won't support that, I don't see how you can stay. I'm guessing you can find a room/apt with an eviction if you aren't too picky.
Wow. This can't be easy for
Wow. This can't be easy for you or anyone else in the home. I think it may be time for someone to call the police on this kid for his fighting with neighbors and get him put back in pending his trial process.
If he prefers prison, deliver on his wishes.
Don't forget to take care of you.
When you are dealing with a
When you are dealing with a real “bottom of the barrel” skid, you MUST remove them 100% from your home and life. No exceptions. You do whatever it takes for them never to cross your path again. Even if that means dumping an enabling spouse.
My SS34 has a horrible record of drugs, alcoholism, theft, domestic violence and beating up elderly persons who look at him wrong. I told my DH to just keep him away from me and it’s working out well.
I love my DH, but I don’t love him enough to put up with SS.
Moving Seems Like the Best Option
I would start a bank account without telling anyone. Leave the debit card and checks in a safe deposit box until you move. Work extra hours to save for a deposit and first month’s rent. Rent a storage unit and start gradually moving your things. When you have enough and find a place, move and don’t give a forwarding address. Her sons are potentially dangerous and she is allowing them to use and abuse her and you. Be glad you’re not married yet. It is time to move on, it doesn’t seem like any of them are trying to change for the better.