You are here

Standoff over

Newimprvmodel's picture

So dh did not pay his 5 k share of daughter 's college tuition, due on Friday. If you recall, he had asked for the bank statement two weeks ago from the 20 k bank acct his parents had given his daughter this summer. And he had gotten fierce opposition from both daughter and his ex. We do know that ex used the money to pay her own share of their daughter's fall semester tuition. And dh basically accused them of the money being gone, and his ex begged him to continue to pay his child support and college tuition. Promising that bank statement would be provided.....days ago.
Nothing. I urged dh to notify his parents. They gave the girls the money because basically it no longer belonged to gparents once the girls turned 18. They feared the girls finding out about money and accusing them. I did object to them having the girls to dinner, after all they had done to my dh.........
So dh spoke with his parents, who did inform dh that the bank books were sent by courier in August......and they never heard from the daughters again, not even a simple thank you. Shocking isn't it. Although predictable given past behaviors.
Dh and I have discussed.....he paid the 5k today. It is pointless trying to force the bank statement. Honestly these things can be falsified. Enough energy used the past week over these parasites..
And we have another battle looming next year, getting her emancipated. I am sure they would use dh's late payment against him.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Isn't it amazing? We are convinced that the ex took control of acct and used it to pay for her own wedding this summer. She is an extremely selfish woman who lives the high life, and spends as soon as she makes it.
But in the end, who cares? So what if spoiled brat daughter has more student loans?
They are such cruel creatures. I think I have accepted that dh has to pay another year and a half.
However, the nuclear weapons are coming out if this bitch doesn't agree to allowing US to be emancipated upon her graduation. No joke. It will be scorched earth policy.

z3girl's picture

DH has a court date scheduled to emancipate SD22 next Friday. We can't wait! She graduated from college last May, and it's his own fault she's not yet emancipated, but only a few more days. I've read that sometimes they don't emancipate right at graduation because of the poor economy, but there's no way he should be paying now. When I hear about CS ending at 18, I just sigh. If only...

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Could you explain this emancipation business to me? I do not get it. My two older skids, DH's daughter and son, turned 21 and he stopped paying CS for them, even though he continued to pay for a portion of their college costs. Now he is in court with BM about who pays what for colleges for all three - which is entirely ridiculous, i agree completely. If he pays for college, he should not be paying a humongous amount in CS.

But we did not have to deal with emancipation - the skids just aged out. Am i missing something? Can you force emancipation earlier? Is it for those situations where the divorce agreements give them more generous benefits than the state law and then you try to bring them back in line with the existing law?

Rags's picture

Some states require an order of emancipation in order for CS to be stopped regardless of the age of the child. In some states it is also possible to persue an order of emancipation for a minor child to aleviate liability for that child. A friend of mine in Texas did it with his 17yo daughter when she refused to follow household rules, chronically skipped class, falsified attendence records, etc.... She was emancipated in Jan of her Jr year in HS. She actually graduated a year early so the emancipation only put her out on her own about 6 mos before she graduated.

He did not want her in the house with her younger sibs and he repeatedly outlined the rules, etc... so he persued an order of emancipation which was granted which made her legally an adult and aleviated his responsibilities to support, house, provide medical insurance, etc...

In Sperm Land all that was required for the Sperm Clan to end their CS obligation was to send an letter to the DA requesting that CS stop on SS's 18th b-day. He graduated from HS at 17 3mos before his 18th b-day.

Not sure if this helps answer your question but this is what I know and have experienced regarding emancipation.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Thank you, Rags! Yes, it does. I wonder if anyone can object to the child being emancipated? Like a greedy BM who wants to collect. Anyway, it is not that way where i am. But i would love to see the YSD18 get marreid, for example, so that we could cut the strings. Not at all likely, i know.

In DH's separation agreement CS stops when they reach 21, but emancipation does not come until they are done with college. I can hardly wait.

Rags's picture

The Sperm Clan dumped my SS the day he turned 18. He could keep them on the hook for CS paid directly to him until he turns 22 if he is a full time student in good accademic standing but they guilted him out of that by playing their well worn 'CS takes food out of your younger siblings mouths' card.... So, he let them off of the hook.

His mom and I still have his back and always will. Fortunately SS-21 is a self supporting viable adult and we managed to raise him past the multigenerational worthless POS behaviors of the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. I only wish he could buck up and not tolerate their manipulative guilt crap that they throw his way when they want something.

He knows that we would pay for college for him but he covers it for himself through his USAF and VA benefits. So, we pay for his car and insurance. At least for another 9 mos.

The funny thing is that the Sperm Clan wants his car since to them it is not fair that he is 21 with a new car and they drive decades old beaters. He just laughs every time they try that one. Ha! Even the Skid has learned to enjoy rubbing their noses in their multigenerational failures.

Thats my boy!!!! }:)

Newimprvmodel's picture

This state requires court ordered emancipation, and college student can only be emancipated upon graduation,and sometimes grad school continues the whole child support package. His princess wants grad school so we know the battle coming