Do not go into any detailed explanation.

If your DH calls you just say "If there is no soap tell him to go buy some". If you start going on about how he is thoughtless and how you have to do everything, your DH will probably start defending him.

And if it were me I would make sure there was never any soap.

Tell him to take his laundry to the laundromat! Problem solved...

This is YOUR HUSBAND's problem!

Tell SS to buy a frigging dryer! Two problems solved: no paying for his soap, no seeing his lazy butt at your house. Enough is a-frigging nuff!

There are laundrymats for a reason. Perhaps you should start doing laundry in the evening so when SS comes over the machine is busy, then nicely suggest that he use the laundrymat down the street or where ever.

Also, I would flat out hide all my laundry supplies so if he does try to do laundry there he will either have to go out and buy detergent or hit ole dad for the money. If he asks you, just respond you don't have any $$ on you right then. And....suggest the laundrymat.

He's old enough to know that when something runs out you replace it, especially if you don't live there. Tell your husband. I understand your frustration, especially when you are going to do laundry expecting there to be detergent and there is none left.

Stash ur good stuff and leave the empty box for ur SS. If his dad calls u about it yes stand up for urself tell him if there's no soap then that's cause the SS used it all up and he can go buy some if he needs soap. And if his dad doesn't like it let him go buy it I'm sure he's gonna get tired of doing that real quick.....

Or how about you call your SS up on the phone while you are at work and say, "hey,I noticed the laundry soap is all gone. I've got a bunch of laundry to do tonight, can you pick some up for me so when I get home I can start washing right away? Thanks!"

The kid is acting normally. Adults have providing for him all his life he has no reason to think anything has changed.

It's the parents job, in this case Daddy, who teach kids that they're on their own. I.e. they toss them out of the nest. So your problem is Daddy not the boy.

If Daddy or the kid does call tell him that "if we're out go and buy some for heavens sake". As if they're too stupid to figure it out themselves. Repeat as necessary by hiding your soap and leaving his undisturbed for his future use.

BUT - as you said financially you're in a admirable situation and you have to ask yourself if this is really worth fighting over? Soon a girlfriend or wife will take over. Don't let others in this Forum tell you to start world war three over this. They have problems with steps that go far beyond what you're experiencing.

Lets change subjects. How are you going to make out if he pre-deceases you? He's paying the mortgage but is the deed only in his name? I don't want to see you on the street when this kid sells the house out from under you as well as any cars and such that are titled only to the father.

Perhaps you need legal advise about your share of the estate when he passes. Look into Living Wills while you two are at the attorneys office. From the day you married him you are 1/2 of the partnership irregardless of differences in paychecks.

You can solve this problem and come out looking like a hero instead of a villain. Go to Craigslist and you will find many appliances free or at maybe $25. Dryers cost less than washers. I gave away my last washer and dryer when I got new ones. Didn't want to go through having people come over to look at them, negotiate, etc. They were old, but in working condition. Get a decent dryer, tell SS "Surprise - I got you a dryer, now you don't have to lug your laundry all the way over here." Since he's 19 he probably has at least one friend to help him transport the dryer to his house. Aren't you a thoughtful SM? Problem solved.

Not a battle worth fighting.....just keep your good soap hid. Let DH & SS figure it out.