Spin-off.... from "Can you ever regain respect for DH?"
So... to those of you who have discovered that many of the issues (disrespect towards you, as a stepmom, by the stepkid(s), DH trying to "keep the peace", etc) that have caused you to lose respect towards your DH.... were you able to eventually resolve those issues/feelings?
I am smack-dab in the middle of a gigantic blow-out with SD20. I finally stood up for myself. Told DH that he was the problem (for always trying to keep the peace, not wanting to tell SD "no", and by his actions/inactions it really has led us to the point where it has basically shown SD that HE does not respect me, so therefore why should she?!).
He has accepted his role in this mess. He does acknowledge it. But, it's VERY early in the process. It remains to be seen if he will, in fact, enforce some of the stuff we have told her (she is to clean her room and do the one or two chores we ask of her... she lives w/ us but is rarely home, no rent).
I mean, I just had this revelation a couple weeks ago about DH's role in SD's behavior towards me. Now that he knows and now that there has been a GIGANTIC blow-up between us (mostly her & I), it is going to take some time for things to get resolved. I can't expect it to be fixed overnight.
i guess I'm just wondering if some of you went on to get divorced or if you were able to work it out, etc....
I think another HUGE issue is that SD is desperate for her mommy's love/attention/validation. She will never get it. Never ever ever. But mommy also think **I** am the biggest bitch that ever walked the face of the earth. So you have YEARS of her bad-mouthing me to her kid. In all honesty, I raised that kid. Quite literally. Her mother barely showed an interest and certainly never made any sacrifices for her. I did and I did it willingly and without casting stones at her mother. I always took the high road.
Anyhow... that definitely complicates matters... but I still wanted to get some input & advice from those who have been in my position. Thanks!