Slighty O/T Dealing w/your Adult Bios
I have 3 adult bios now and 2 minor children. DS21 recently moved back in w/me, dd22 lives out of state, ds18 is going to college out of state. For the most part they are doing well. I'm having a hard time knowing where the boundaries are when it comes to their personal relationships. When they were minors I had no problem speaking my mind and telling them that so and so may not be the best person in their life right now. As adults though it's different since they can shut you out if they don't like your opinions.
The issue, dd22 is dating a guy who has been in and out of jail a few times (non violent crimes). Basically he's just stupid. The guy doesn't work and dd is basically supporting him while struggling herself. I think it's a terrible situation for dd and this guy is dragging her down instead of supporting her and building a life w/her. I told her exactly what I thought of her dating Mr. Jailbird and she didn't talk to me for weeks. Did I overstep? Should I just keep my mouth shut and let this guy drag her down? I know realistically I can't do anything but as a mother I feel that I should say something if my daughter is in a trainwreck of a situation.
The other is ds18 who is away at college but still pining over his high school sweetheart. Mean old me told him to go out w/other people and have fun. Apparently his now ex gf has already dated 3 of his friends so he should move on too. Oh how horrible I am for suggesting such a thing and I don't understand!!! Nope, guess I was never young or in love.
How do you all deal w/your adult bios and their dramas. Do you give advice? Steer clear and tell them they're on their own? Bite your tongue? Say your piece and then step back? What works for you? How can I be supportive but not overbearing? But also caring if I see something off?