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Sign of things to come.

Newimprvmodel's picture

So SD is staying about 60 miles away in my husbands house that he never sold. SD and new husband live about 5 hrs from that house. The house that I share with her father is out of the way. Sooooooo.  SD wants to see her father and asked several times for us to go to that house this weekend before they leave on Monday. Interesting dynamic developing. So husband and I are taking slow drive there today stopping at a clothing store I love and we will take them out to a fancy dinner. All things I enjoy. 
my prediction is that SD will continue to go to THIS house and we will visit them there. She already did that for Christmas. Refused to come to my dinner and she and finance stayed there all week. Look I get it. She really wants no part of me or my kids. It was set in motion years ago by her parents. 
So I see all benefits of her not coming to my house. Visits will be on my terms. No cooking cleaning or lifting a finger involved and I can make nice stops along the way. And husband can take us all out to dinner. 

JRI's picture

Plus, you can always cancel at the last minute.  You have developed a mystery illness that acts up unexpectedly, right?

reedle2021's picture

This sounds perfect. I would have loved it if my ex SS had moved out and never came to my house.  Of course, that wouldn't have fixed my ex husband being a d&ck to me, but it certainly would've made me a little happier!  Smile

I'm glad things are working out for you!  This is great news!  :) 

Newimprvmodel's picture

Husband loves loves it when anyone uses the house.  It's been years since I've gone there. No. I consider this a win. Any yes she benefits but I don't care. This works for me. I have been having intense cabin fever for years with the pandemic and doing hospice for a year. Getting out for the day is awesome. I can be the guest. And yes I'm sure this is a power play but I don't care. 

Winterglow's picture

Resist all urges to bring a hostess gift with you, no flowers, chocolates, or bottle of wine, nothing.

Do not resist any urges to deflate her with helpful hints and suggestions that sort of imply that you understand she's doing her best with her cooking but ... "Is this the first time you've made this dish?" (If she says no, sigh and look sadly at your plate, if she says yes, smile encouragingly and say "thought so!") "This is nice ... have you ever considered adding a little X? It would make such a difference!" 

Make sure to absent-mindedly wipe your hand over a surface or two as if you're checking for dust. 

Do not miss a single opportunity but be discreet.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Her father is taking us all out to eat. She's never made me anything. Interestly she still has not eaten her wedding cake.  Days later. I'm sure it's because it's from me. 

Winterglow's picture

What a pity! OTOH, at least you'll be sure the food is safe to eat.

Well, that's her loss, isn't it? What exactly does she have against you anyway?

JRI's picture

Or, as my SD61 does, look around and sadly say, " Don"t you people ever dust?"

CajunMom's picture

While the SD may be thinking she's got one on you, truth is, you are the WINNER!! Won't have her or her family snooping around your home, having to cook and clean for them, etc. You can choose to go....or NOT much easier to get out of the obligatory visits with this in place. I think I'd be "feeling ill" a few hours before most of these visits. LOL