Should I break my silence?
Yesterday, I posted about SS34's long reply to DH's earlier email laying down boundaries and asking his kids to be more inclusive about me. (https://www.steptalk.org/forum/parenting/adult-stepchildren/damned-if-i-...)
Basically, SS has gone from attacking me in the past to attacking DH now. The crux of this latest email was how DH has changed for the worse since being influenced by me, DH has broken the father-child relationship and effected a "second divorce" on his skids, and DH is no longer to be trusted.
(Seriously, what a drama queen.)
Now, I have kept quiet for the last four years since meeting DH. I had a first, very early Skype call with SS that was completely misunderstood. SS subsequently bitched about me to the whole extended family and accused me of slandering him and carrying tales about him. (He's the one emailing the whole family poison about me, and somehow *I* am the slanderer?)
After that drama, I decided to keep quiet and stay away. I figured the skids (SS34 and SD31) would twist anything I say and take it out of context. So I wasn't about to give them any ammunition against me. Especially given their propensity to email blast the whole extended family (grandfather, uncles, aunts, cousins) calling me "manipulative", "insecure", "untrustworthy", etc. (Again, *I* am the slanderer? Riiiiiight.)
There was even an episode just before the wedding when we gave SD a lift somewhere. During the five-minute car ride, I attempted to be pleasant: "Oh, SD, I heard that you are planning to go back to your studies? That's great!" What followed was a screaming tirade about how I was breaking up the family, I was heartless, what sort of person marries a divorced man? Blah blah blah.
[For the record, the Ex-Wife divorced DH after 10 years of freezing him out. DH did not want the divorce. And I met DH one year after the divorce was finalised. So I had absolutely nothing to do with the divorce or the break-up of the family - a fact that seemed to escape SD.]
During SD's shouting fit, I kept completely silent. Firstly, I knew any reaction of mine would be reported to the family and somehow SD would be the victim. Secondly, DH would be heartbroken if I got into an argument with his daughter. So I bit my tongue.
Since then, I've only interacted with the skids when I accompany DH to family gatherings. I smile, say hello, and ignore them otherwise. There have been one or two meals with SS, during which I am friendly but otherwise remain silent. I don't volunteer anything about me and say the minimum.
Now, given this latest email, I'm wondering whether to finally break my silence. I'm thinking of crafting an email to SS knowing that it will likely be circulated to the family. I haven't quite decided what purpose it would serve other than explaining why I've kept quiet and passive for so long. I'm still 75% leaning towards continuing my silence though.
What would you do?