Seeking Some Humor for the Holidays!
The holidays can often be a tough time of the year for Steps. I know that even during non-holiday times I see mention of horrible holiday gifts as just one example of how we can be disrespected - these so-called gifts from "caring" adult skids really stick in the craw and haunt our holiday memories.
I'm sure many of you are cringing in anticipation of what the little lovelies will come up with this year. So how about we try to shift it around?! Maybe we can come up with ideas from others on how they reacted, and will be better prepared for this year's antics!
Let's have a bit of levity: Tell us the STRANGEST or most inappropriate gift given to you by an ADULT skid. If you can, add what your reaction, your DH/DW/SO's reaction, or anything else you can think of which might give a good laugh.
I'll kick it off with my own tale:
My SD knows what my shoe size is since she once tried on a pair of my shoes and we talked about how "small" my feet are. Lo and behold, Christmas rolls around and she gives me a pair of HUGE slippers. They were crap-brown colored w/nickle size white polka-dots and although "new" w/tags they had store lint all over them like they had been at the bottom of a bargain bin. When I opened them, I exclaimed brightly, "Oh how nice - I need some really ROOMY slippers! These will be perfect! Thank you so much!"
I am not certain but from what I've seen I believe BM has some pretty HUGE feet. I have a suspicion SD (who is notorious for hating to shop) went over to her mom's and whined about not knowing what to give me. BM then rummaged around her stash of unwanted gifts and dug up these gems for SD to re-gift to me.
My SO (her dad) did not say anything when the Bozo slippers were unwrapped. He would never openly criticize his princess but even he couldn't keep the look of disbelief off his face - I mean, these things were gigantic!
What he doesn't know is I took those slippers in to work and showed my gal pals - we had a HUGE laugh together over them and that was the best gift of all!
Gift from my SD? You're
Gift from my SD? You're kidding, right?
Ditto. Although I was once
Ditto. Although I was once given a plastic toy that I remembered seeing in the cheap toy section at Target (the SDs were already adults by the time I met them). Things were not as messy then as they were now. I remember being perplexed but said thank you anyway. Thats the only thing I have ever received for Christmas from them, in 15 years. They no longer buy for their father either but BM sure gets elaborate, expensive gifts.
Luke Skywalker Action Figure
from a 22 year old idiot. Last present I got from him because in a heated discussion at a later time,
I said I would rather not have a present than be given something dumb out of obligation or as an insult. Not a Star Wars collector and neither is he.
I'm with you
My 27 year old SS would never give me anything but trash that fell out of his pickup. But he sure expects us to buy his dinner out for his birthday and expensive gift to boot, not to mention putting us in the ackward position of the company of his mother and her nosey questions and we end up paying for her meal too. At Christmas I worked my butt off to set a beautiful table with many choice dishes they requested and did they help set the table, take their dishes to the kitchen, sit and visit with me while I cleaned up? No, of course not. They went upstairs to the den and laid around on the couch til I was finished and then left their kid with us while they went home to "take a nap." No more.
I wrote about this previously
I wrote about this previously but the last Christmas SD spent with us I received a minute jar of jam and an old 'past-dated' bottle of syrup she must have found in the back of a cupboard. She used my gift wrapping to present it to me. I was gracious and said "Thank you." Earlier in the day SD told me she hated my homemade strawberry jam and had a meltdown so there was an atmosphere of confusion - to say the least. After they left I threw the 'gift' in the trash. Then I gave myself a 'real' gift and banned her from my home until DH could insist she respect me as his wife. It's been 8 years now and DH never found the nerve to tell her - THAT has been a gift in disguise. LOL
Ugh! Good for You, giving
Ugh! Good for You, giving yourself such a nice peaceful gift.
Gifts? From a skid? Lol.
Gifts? From a skid? Lol.
The last Christmas we spent with DH's family was one we hosted. I busted butt, spent a lot of money, you all know how it goes when you entertain. We spent a small fortune on gifts for SD's blended brood of six. Well, they showed up, a bag of potato chips their pot luck offering. Descended like locusts on the food, and the kids tore into their presents with gusto while we adults had our gift exchange. SD and her H had drawn my DH and myself, and we got...nothing. They stiffed us! I remember looking around at everyone enjoying themselves thanks to my efforts and wallet and thinking, "Never Again!"
Your stories are always the
Your stories are always the best! So glad you escaped so level-headed.
In my case I am suppose to
In my case I am supposed to give and watch them receive expensive gifts from us jointly, while everybody else around receives nothing. On a good Christmas, I got a 5.00 plant, that was big time. I will say they do buy expensive things for my husband, things that I could never be any party or benefit from on purpose. I used to have to watch all that too.....I guess the goal was to make certain I witnessed how meaningless I was to "THEIR" family. I got the message, but was still a very slow learner (it as just unbelievable). Hahahaha....I was supposed to be happy with their "family traditions." What a farce....
They haven't seen me in years......God works in very mysterious ways.I regret not seeking my peace away fron the self worship servants--years before I did....
A Christmas' ago, my SD57
A Christmas ago, my SD57 gave me a small basket of make-up and body lotions. They were dried up and rancid with the yard sale tags of 50 cents still on the bottom of the bottle.
Of course I took them to the bathroom and trashed them. I never said a word. DH is responsible for his family shopping, therefore they each usually get a can of nice nuts from him. Perfect!
Last year no gift. She texted her "daddy" after Christmas to let him know she would pay for his cell phone for the year, as a Christmas gift.
Suits me, no more yard sale items and they can secretly chat. LOL....
Love the nuts idea!
My SS (27yo) has a birthday the end of this month and this is a perfect appropriate payback for him excluding me from his wedding after all I have done for him and his new wife.
Zilch
I used to receive some small gifts from SD22 when she was a minor, although they were always clearly bought by DH. This was fine and expected, as she was a child then and not working. However, my DH stopped refereeing SD22's gifts as soon as the first Christmas we celebrated when she was 18 years old. She was living with us when we celebrated Christmas when she was 18 and 19, and DS and I both received nothing from SD. My DD and DH did though, and they have every year since then. Last year SD22 made a big scene about the presents she bought "the family" and invited us all to sit down so she could give them out. Everyone got one (even DS finally!)... except me. No one said anything... I just smiled and played along, focusing on DS and DD. I ended up crying to my dad later that night; so angry and hurt that DH said NOTHING. But later that night I stumbled onto ST, and that was honestly the best gift! I felt validated and supported, no longer alone in this journey of being a SM with a disrespectful SD and discovered the world of disengagement and the peace I could look forward to. The next morning when my MIL came over SD22 waited until it was just the 3 of us alone in a room when she triumphantly retrieved and surprised her paternal grandmother with a gift. My MIL had already been in our home visiting with us for nearly 2 hours when SD22 "suddenly remembered" about the gift, further trying to show me how much she cared for everyone and not for me. I just smiled and acknowledged how nice that was, and then left the kitchen to rejoin my DS and DD in the living room.
I got the last laugh though when I asked DH if I could give SD22 an etiquette book for her birthday and he agreed! So a few months later that was what she unwrapped! I wrote on the inside cover, "Have fun puting this to good use! Heart, Duckie & DH"
Just wondering
Just wondering to what extent you are disengaged from your SD? I sincerely hope it includes letting DH purchase her gifts with his own money. My SD used to do this too - plus other obnoxious B.S, throughout the rest of the year. It's been 8 years since I saw her pouty face, and it's been heaven. LOL
Treading Water
Hi sandye21!
I am definitely still learning what exactly disengagement means and looks like for me... I never made a formal announcement to DH that I was disengaging from SD22, but I no longer bring her up or go out of my way to contact her. I did send her an evite to DS4's birthday party but she never bothered to even open it since I'm sure it said it was from me. I figured DH could reach out to her if he really wanted her there. She never showed up, and we never heard from her on Thanksgiving. Those 2 special days were so much more enjoyable without her there! I know she will show up with her hand out on Christmas Eve but I have already made plans to spend the majority of it with my father and my children. DH, SD22, and my MIL can be bored to tears together while we are at church. I'm also on call that night so I have an escape route in place if it gets to be too much/miserable for me.
This is the last year I will be spending any money on SD22. 3 years ago I began a "Hope Chest" for SD22 and DD17. It was my passive aggressive way that was supported by DH to encourage/remind her that she should be living on her own. Their hope chests will be compete this year, and after that DH knows he alone is to be the one responsible for gifts for SD22. I figure worst case scenario, if DS4 is living on his own before SD22 (which I think is honestly very likely) then those items will become his, so no money/time lost on my end.
I am PRAYING for the day when I never see her again. Or if I do it will be only every few years at the most. I am so jealous!
But for now disengagement is very much a learning process for me... One day at a time...
I hate gifts. but one time my
I hate gifts. but one time my innocent introverted DS15 told my DS 16 that him and his friend should gift each other acne cream for christmas. (DS16 and his friend were both very pimpley, but DS was trying to be helpful, It was very hard to get my DS15 in trouble while trying not to smile)
A gift from a SKID???
A gift from a SKID???
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
The skids can't even bother to give DH a card, much less a gift. It would be a miracle indeed if they bought something for the Evil Stepmother.
Nothing is better than old
"Nothing", is better than old and rancid. HAHAHA
This is the same with my SS
This is the same with my SS (24). He has a few thousand in the bank according to DH, we pay his phone and other bills still. He shows up to get his presents but never brings anybody else a thing. My DD (21) who can't really afford to buy gifts, always does. I don't care about me but he could at least pick up his dad a baseball cap or a bottle of bourbon. I would be uncomfortable NOT giving anyone anything but I guess it is just how you are raised.
I don’t usually get
I don’t usually get inappropriate or weird gifts because my DH does the buying for his perfectly capable adult daughter and picks something from my wish list! Enabler much??
I just ran across it the
I just ran across it the other day. An Oakland A's "purse" that is quilted satin and about 2 inches by 5 inches with a strap. No clue what it would be used for, to hold the tickets maybe? I don't know, threw it in a drawer.
The strangest Christmas gift
The strangest Christmas gift we ever got was from DH's ex-wife, she lived with SD32 so we all spent Christmas together and I liked her very much so this is just funny. So BM asked DH to loan her $50. She taped the $50 bill to a piece of paper with a note that this was a gift to DH and me to take the grandkids to a movie.
Not a gift thing but a toxic
Not a gift thing but a toxic SpermClan thing. Shortly after we married we moved from CA to TX and stopped in UT to visit friends as we were relocating. It snowed a bunch while we were in UT. We puchased SS a very nice ski jacket that was quit a bit too large for him. He had it for several years and it still fit. It was a nice name brand. We sent it with him on a Winter SpermLand visitation. It did not make it back from that visitation with him. He came back in SpermGrandHag's pink late 70s ski jacket. We called to have the correct coat sent. SpermGrandHag got all pissed off claiming that the coat she sent was nicer and fit him better. It was HUGE on the kid. What she really wanted was the nice coat that we had purchased for SS to go to the three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs. We got the coat back. My FIL collected it from SpermGrandHag's home and mailed it to us.
SS wore that coat for another winter. It still was in brand new shape. We gave it to my brother for his kids to use. The next year when SpermGrandHag heard that it had gone to SS's Rags cousins she called screaming for us to send her decades old pink ski parka back to her. She asked SS about it and wanted to know where it was. She was fixated on his coat. As for her pink decades old parka, nope, it was already long gone to GoodWill and we took the tax write off.
SpermGrandHag also called wanting us to send the car seat she had given to my bride at her baby shower for SS. Nope, that car seat was long gone. Also to GoodWill and yes.... we took the write off.
For some reason once the SpermIdiot started indescriminately spawning with every available under age womb in the Pac NW SpermGrandHad thought all of SS's things should go to the subsequent spawn. She often called for his old clothes and for the entire 16+ years SS was subject to CO'd visitation his clothes would frequently not make it home with him. Interestingly it was always his nice high quality name brand stuff that would not be returned. It was so manipulated that his quality shoes would not come home and he would be in flea market special fall apart in a month shoes. My FIL went to SpermGrandHag's many times over those years to collect SS's things. When she pulled her crap. We bared her ass.