SD29's Wedding & SS32's Epic Rudeness
So SD29 got married over the last two weekends: first, the church ceremony, followed by a family lunch a week later.
The Church Wedding:
The church wedding itself went off pretty smoothly. SD29, who's usually surly and guarded, was obviously carried away with the bliss of the moment and actually thanked me for all my help - which was very minimal. Since she was being generous of spirit, I gave her a hug... which felt like I was taking advantage of her. LOL
The Morning After:
What got my goat was SS32's behaviour. He lives in a different country and came back for his sister's wedding. At the church wedding, he pretty much ignored me which was to be expected. The next day, however...
DH had forgotten to bring something to pass to SS32. So the next day, he wanted to meet up to do so. SS32 said he had no time to meet up and asked DH to drop it off. After the drop-off, DH called SS32 to chat. DH wanted to get to the bottom of SS32's behaviour since our wedding in February. SS32 had ignored almost all of DH's efforts to Skype and they had hardly talked since our marriage.
So SS32 launched into this tirade:
(1) He blamed ME for the break-up of the family - a family which had suffered two of the Ex-Wife's affairs in a decade during which she didn't want to have anything to do with DH and lived separately from him under the same roof; a family which broke apart when the Ex-Wife finally forced a divorce on DH more than three years ago, at least a year before I ever came into the picture.
(2) How can he hurt his mom by being friendly with me?
(3) He had lost all respect for DH.
That last comment is completely outrageous. How dare he? This guy is supposed to be some model son - responsible boy, valedictorian in school, now a doctor and a pillar of his church. And yet he's so condescending to his father, such a self-righteous prick who expects his dad to remain faithful post-divorce to his faithless mother.
What kind of child tells his/her father: "I've lost all respect for you" - while, by the way, still owing his father money for his post-graduate studies?
I know if I ever said that to my father, I'd probably be disowned. Maybe that's just how I was brought up.
A week later, this Saturday past, SD29 holds a little lunch for family.
During this lunch, nobody joins DH and myself at our table for a good hour. His kids sit with their mom at the table furthest from ours and hardly even acknowledge DH. I mean, ignore me by all means, but at least acknowledge your dad is even there?
We are finally joined by DH's father and brother when they arrive - and still everyone ignores our table.
Last night, before turning in, DH apologised for his family's treatment. He said if his family continues to treat us in this manner, we don't have to attend family functions any more. I know it must really hurt him for him to make a statement like that. He loves his family and has always played a prominent role in his extended family's get-togethers.
The next such gathering is Christmas Eve - during which his Ex is likely to attend. I still am amazed at her gall, attending the family gatherings of the man you spurned as if she still has a role in his extended family.
I'm seething for my poor DH now. And I just want to bitchslap SS32's holier-than-thou face. RARRR!