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SD19 being a Jerk.

CarpeOmnia's picture

This is the SD19 that I actually liked a little bit.
My role in all this is to stand by and watch a young man come a great distance to see her and get hurt in the end.
Already preplanned by SD19. I'm disgusted by it all.

SD19 has a BF she's been "seeing" for about 8 months. It's a long distance thing that no one thought would go anywhere.
He is in Houston, Texas, she is in central Alberta, Canada. They met on-line. He has come up to visit her once in that time,
as he is a student and can only afford so much. SD19 is a single mother working at McDonalds, has no passport or monies to
travel to the U.S. They phone and Skype and text often. When he was visiting he seemed to be a polite, friendly young man of 20.
SD19 still says that this young man is very nice.
He has done nothing wrong.

As DH and I figured would happen, SD19 got the lonelies and started a "friendship" with a young man from her own city. Went to
his Christmas party with him...talks about him often...etc, etc. SD19 convinced her BF that this new guy was just a friend but
some of his calls indicated concern and jealousy(I'd be concerned too, in his shoes). This new fella is now waiting in the wings.

Found out yesterday from SD19, that BF is flying up for two weeks during his College semester break and would be arriving this coming
Monday. SD19 plans on dumping him on his visit to her city, TOWARDS THE END of the two week visit. He will be staying at her
one bedroom apartment. Doing nothing but waiting for her to get back from her job. He has no friends or family here. Just her.
I would imagine he would wish to pick up where they left off...a romantic, having sex, two week visit. She figures they won't be
having sex. Ummmm...duh...why do you think he's flying allllll this way? When she finally tells him the truth of why she's pushing
him away, she doesn't figure he should feel hurt...or angry. I was in a long distance relationship once. If I would have gone to
all that cost and effort to fly to a fellow's place, only to have him have plans to dump me when I got there...I would have been
hurt and furious and would have punched him in the head!

If she would break up with him before he gets on that plane, maybe he could get most of his ticket money back or a voucher to
fly somewhere in the future. At least he wouldn't have to come all this way...hang with SD19 and her family and find out they ALL
KNEW about her plans to dump him and just grin-fucked him the whole visit.,

I want so badly to send him a message giving him the head's up.(I won't) SD19 wanted DH and I to host a dinner with this almost
X-BF during his visit. I told DH that I would not be a part of the bullshit being played on this guy. I won't sit across from him, pretending and grin-fucking him as he talks plans to get work in Alberta after graduation(like last time).
Once he knows the truth...sure, he can come to dinner any time. No bullshit.

So...tomorrow(Sunday) we have dinner with 3 of the 4 SD's. If the topic of Monday's visit comes up, I will be opening my
mouth and saying what I think of the whole bullshit, mean thing this SD19 is doing to this nice young man. If a guy were to
do this to a would be considered a jerky thing to do, so why can't it also be a jerky thing to do if it is
an immature girl doing it to a guy?
I was this SD19's twin sister that insists that I can be blunt and speak my mind...we will see how that flies tomorrow:)

I will have to make sure I have the truck keys...

StepKat's picture

That is just down right heartless of you SD. That poor guy is spending all this money and time to fly up to see a girl he thinks loves her but is only going to use him for a one week stand then dump him.

CarpeOmnia's picture

Yes...the lovey, dovey chit, chat continues on Facebook for all the world to see. She's acting like a jackass guy.

PolyMom's picture

Sounds like something my exh would do. Unfortunately, you're going to be around your crappy SD a lot longer than her nice-guy BF. I would do nothing. Let her make her own mess, and let her clean up after it too.

CarpeOmnia's picture

I'm not going to warn the guy...but if the girl-chat at tomorrow's dinner with the 3 SD's goes the
direction of supporting SD19 in her actions...I will speak up. There's no way I will sit there with
a fake smile on my face and let them believe I condone these actions through my silence.
If it pisses anyone off...I will go home.

oneoffour's picture

Yup we will warn him. "Hey, don't go to Alberta. It is a lot colder than you think and you will be dumped inside 10 days. She already has told all her family and she has a new guy waiting in the wings."

sixteensmom's picture

As much as I'd want to fix it, I'm with Polymom -- it's her mess. you feel bad for the guy but the wrath of sd over the next 50yrs will be worse.

StepKat's picture

I would warn the poor guy. It's truly not fair to him what your SD is doing. He has done anything to deserve such horrible treatment.

CarpeOmnia's picture

That is the temptation, message him in time to get his ticket refunded.
DH is trying to blame SD's immaturity as why she is doing this.
Perhaps. Yes she is immature. But, still no excuse to treat a nice person so shabbily.

A secondary concern is the young mans' reaction when being told. I can ask DH if he can arrange to have
SGD2 the evening she plans on dumping him. If it goes badly, I'd hate to see a toddler in the middle of it.

PolyMom's picture

Ultimately, I agree that he shouldn't come. But it should be SD19 that handles it, not you. Or if she's too chicken shit, do it with her blessing. What would happen if you and DH had a serious chat with her and tell her only a truly shitty person would allow him to spend thousands of dollars just to be dumped?

CarpeOmnia's picture

DH called her last evening and told her just that.
She didn't change her mind.
She is a twit.
What you said about "only a truly shitty person would allow him to spend thousands of dollars just to be dumped" is
exactly what I will be saying to her, in front of them all, tomorrow...if the subject comes up.

twoviewpoints's picture

What a coldhearted little witch. If it were my kid or Skid, it'd rat her out. And I know if I didn't the siblings of the girl would. To let that young man get on that plane is just downright cruel. The thought of the wrath of SD for the next ump-some odd years wouldn't bother me...I'd not want anything to do with someone who could treat another human so cruelly anyway.

No, it's not her father's or yours mess to clean up...but this immature brat asked you both to play a part in the deception. I'd take that as an open invitation to warn the young man. He doesn't deserve this and as a mother herself with a baby it's time she stop playing games with people and grow-up.

I'd rat her out without blinking an eye and I wouldn't care how angry the snot got at me. She brought this crap to your doorstep by asking you to host the young man. She shared her horrid plan with others. You're involved now whether you want to be or not. I can tell you that if this were say my Skid my husband would personally call the young man himself. No way would he stand back and let his kid treat anyone (especially one coming long distance) to like this.

So what happens when SD dumps the guy and guy goes batsh*t crazy (physically and/or mentally)? It wouldn't smooth my feelings about all this just because I agreed to take the baby for that dump the sucker night.

Just my 2cents worth. We all gotta do what we all feel is 'right', and I know 'right' for me and my family would not be to let this farce go through.

CarpeOmnia's picture

Oh...taking the toddler wouldn't "smooth my feelings" about all this.
It would just get a small child out of the way of something she shouldn't be near.
It could end well...or it could end badly. If she insists on doing it this way, SGD2 shouldn't be there.

I'll be speaking more to DH about this when he comes home tonight from his Mom's.

furkidsforme's picture

I'd tell the poor kid. If she was planning on scamming someone out of money intentionally, you wouldn't be party to helping her do that, would you? And that is exactly what she is doing.

Amber Miller's picture

What a piece of trash this girl is. I would be ashamed if one of my children did this to another person. This is a despicable act. It's so incredibly cruel. I hope there is a huge storm and they cancel the flight and that the storm is so bad that he can't get a flight for a few weeks. This way, he will have to return to school and then he won't get to see her. He can get a voucher and then the stupid bitch's plan will be foiled! So, she's going to break up with him in the cruelest manner possible so what difference does it make if she does it over the phone or in person? Why make him travel just to hurt him I just don't get it. I think the shallow bitch wants to use him for sex, money and attention. When she takes all she can get and he's all used up after his long visit then she will dump him. I hope this guy who is "waiting in the wings" sees what a cheap whore she is and dumps her after he uses her for sex. Then she will end up alone, with no boyfriend just as she deserves. I just hope this young man finds out somehow about her plan. I wish I could tell him. I can only imagine how awful you must feel to know that this rotten bitch is going to do this and that there is nothing you can do about it. As a mother of 3 sons, I find this to be disgusting and it makes me so sad and brings tears to my eyes when I imagine if this was about to happen to one of my boys.

CarpeOmnia's picture

DH and I will be seeing this twit in a couple hours. We will be trying to talk some moral sense into her

I am hoping that she is stupid enough to get the month wrong.
I know I am in Canada...but wouldn't the college in Houston have started it's new semester already?
Perhaps he was meaning College Spring break.
He told her "First Monday of a month". She assumed he meant tomorrow.
I'm hoping February. Isn't THAT spring break?

CarpeOmnia's picture

Slightly different case here.
He doesn't have a clue yet. After the dinner yesterday, I get the feeling her older siblings don't have a clue either.