SD asks if Loser BF can move in 1 week after moving back herself
:jawdrop: Hi Im new and I am so mad at my SD. After totally dissing us for her loser bf and his family for over 2 years, landing on the balls of her arse, no money, no job, no car, no unemployment, no nothing, burning through 100000 dollar settlement in 1 years time, she comes to us, we take her in, we don't want anything from her but to work, save her money, get a car and get on with her life making good decisions. Week one, everything going along fine, loser bf picks her up from work on Friday night, Sunday afternoon he brings her back...now she is telling me her loser, unemployed bf is getting kicked out of his house and has no place to stay. Hubby is hanging onto some guilt that if we dont let her have this jobless loser here, his relationship with her will suffer. I am dead set against it, I dont care if the loser bf is living under a bridge and I am so pissed that my SD would do this to us and only a week after moving in.
What do I do? Do i be a push over and let the BF move in and rule and reg them to death? Or do I stick to my guns and let the kid deal with the consequences of her bad decisions? Btw the loser bf is 32 years old, my SD is 26.
Help Please Anyone...
NOOOOO!!!!! I am telling you
NOOOOO!!!!! I am telling you right now, stick to your guns on this!! You let him move in and it will destroy everything you have. Don't do it!
Why can't he go home to his
Why can't he go home to his family?
Nevermind. Who cares.
NO. Bad enough SHE moved in, you'll just be enabling them to be scumbags if you let HIM move in, too. She will have NO motivation to leave your house if you let her move him in.
Love it!! LOL
Love it!! LOL
they were living with his
they were living with his parents for the last 10 months. Since she is my SD I would have taken her back anytime, it wasn't my decision that they lived with his parents. They were hiding their drug use from my hubby and me. But now it seems they have overstayed their welcome, and the father says that he has till tomorrow to get out. Gave him a list of shelters that he can stay at. and not for nothing, maybe he should stay in a shelter for a little while maybe it will give him that blazing launch pad he so desperately needs?
No no no no. Do not let them
No no no no. Do not let them in or you will absolutely miserable within a week! I just dodged a similar bullet, myself. Dh is all butthurt because his precious little 23 year old is homeless, but oh well. Not my or my kids' problem. These are freaking ADULTS....let them figure it out! Feeding extra mouths gets expensive after awhile.
You seem ok with the SD
You seem ok with the SD moving in and that's already done, but there is no way in hell you should let the BF move in. His own father is giving him the boot.
Once he sets up residency in your house, you are screwed.
If the SD has a problem with it, she can go to the shelter with her BF. It doesn't sound like the 2 of them are good for each other, anyway.
he will never get a job and
he will never get a job and never leave. just like he did at his parents house.
Next stop? SGRANDKID
Next stop? SGRANDKID junction, where SM continues to have 100% responsibility and 0% authority for the NEXT GENERATION of entitlement.
I agree with this 100%. They
I agree with this 100%. They will have a kid and then use the kid as a weapon to get whatever they want by threatening to take the grand kid away. "If you don't give me what I want then you won't see your grandchild". I can just see it now. This is a popular tactic these spoiled adult brats use. My SD also threw the "you never make any attempt to have a relationship with my baby". This is coming from a girl who was asked by the baby's father to invite us to the gskids 2nd birthday. Of course she never invited us. We found out when the gskids father called my DH to inform him ( and apologized) that he had to kick DH's precious daughter out because she is abusive, mean and just plain crazy. She's the one who withheld the gskid; it wasn't that my DH didn't try.
I wouldn't even consider it.
I wouldn't even consider it.
If they both live at your place rent free, why should they leave? What is their motivation to get off their asses and make better choices (and not get into this situation again)? I suggest you let her know that if it's important to her to live with this dick, er, guy, she might want to work real hard towards that goal. If she wants to foot the bill to support him, that's her choice, but I'd be damned if I would do it.
No way no day is any skid's
No way no day is any skid's bed buddy living in our home.
You already know the
You already know the answer----------NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! What you are you asking is can I afford all kinds of trouble and turmoil in my life? You WILL get it. Save yourself.
just an update...I did have
just an update...I did have the discussion with her last night and after after talking with my DH, and he agreed to back me up, we told her absolutely NOT, not now, not ever. If she wants to support the loser bf, then she has to get her shit together and do it on her dime. What is funny is that I don't think that she really thought it was a big deal and why we are saying no. What is it with kids these days? I would never have the balls or disrespect my parents by even asking that question.
Good for you and DH!!! I bet
Good for you and DH!!! I bet you are happy. Yes, it is disrespectful for her to think that somehow it's ok for them to live for free and have sex in your house. They would've treated your home like a resort and spa. Congratulations.
I say "NO" also along with
I say "NO" also along with everyone else. If his own parents have kicked him out -- there is a reason. If you allow him to move in, he will not feel the "pain" of his bad choices, thus you will be enabling him! He will not learn to support himself. His Dad gave him a list of shelters, he needs to go do that for a while. Your SD needs to understand that absolutely not -- he cannot come. If she gets mad at Dad over that, then so be it. She'll get over it eventually when she grows up!
If I were you, I'd kick them
If I were you, I'd kick them both out because they are adults needing to live their own lives. If they're so bad off in everything, maybe a lesson in character will kick them into high gear. Give them 5 days to get out or else you're changing the locks on the doors.
If DH gripes, tell him tough. You do not need this kind of loser mentality going on in your household.
I agree - get them both out
I agree - get them both out of your house.
Boy, the answer to this just
Boy, the answer to this just moved back in SD is NO. Her boyfriend cannot move in with her. Geez, your goal is to have your house to yourselves. You might suggest that perhaps they could get a place together.
And, don't let them co-habitat (trying to find a nice way of putting sleep together) in your house at any time under any circumstances. It is your house, your rules.