grow up to be responisble young adults and do not expect that their father (or mother) owes them EVERYTHING for the rest of their natural born days!!!!!!!!!! We as the parents are given a tremendous duty to bring up these children to be strong,self supporting, LOVING human beings,NOT to enable and cripple them at every turn just to "get back" at someone because they "did" them wrong!(or imagined that the other parent did them wrong)!

hangingin

Personally I dont think it gets better with age, ive been with my partner for 2 years now and the youngest of my stepchildren is 20.

The three of them totally disrespect everyone and everything. Whenever their dad speaks to them about issues we are having they ignore him or walk off and take no notice. I dont think I can hang on for much longer at all. Theyre driving me mad, and its not like their mother is around to help, she lives 6000 miles away.

I've been on this rollercoster ride for about a decade now. I do think it gets better. Steplife is like a rollercoaster ride. Just when you think everything is calming down and becoming more "normal" you hit another bump or curve on the ride and you're off again. But life in general is like that. Stuff happens.

What I think gets better is you just get used to things and stuff that bothered you before just doesn't anymore. If you have a supportive and understanding husband who acknowledges the difficulties you face in a 2nd wife, step mom situation, this is a piece of cake. Having that kind of support is key, IMO.

I have been hanging on to this hope...5 more years...

I will be better able to answer your question in 19mo. when it officially ends.

It doesn't get better. At least not in my case. DH still paying support for 20yr old who quit school to smoke pot all day over 2 yrs ago.

Your DH may be obligated, or may want to help with college.  Many times, that can be more expensive than child support.  Money may stil be a problem. 

When I married my husband, his kids were in their 20's.  So... 21 years later... NOPE, it did not get any better. Money has never been an issue because we don't give them any.  2 of the SD's are doing fine financially (one, better than us).  The other one, they are in deep debt but they can get themselves out.  It's IRS debt and I have NO idea what they have done - or haven't done to get themselves so deep.  Their grown son (husband's grandson) has asked us for money and we said no.  But the 3 SD's have never seen me as family and after 21+ years, they never will.  And I have given up on that.  I see them as aquaintences and that's it.  The middle one is always trying to push my buttons but now I stick up for myself.  I'm not sure where my husband stands in all this half the time.  We talk when it gets bad and he mostly says, "I just want to keep peace."  WHAT peace?? I show him the emails I get once in a while that are just mean and nasty and he sees it but just doesn't want to deal with anything.  As long as he's on my side and I think he is,  I'm fine with it.  The SD's can live their lives and stay out of mine as far as I'm concerned.  At one point I did think things would change and then I saw it wasn't going to.  The pack of wolves always stay together and I'm the intruder in their family.

My problem is in her mid 50's and she hasn't gotten any better to deal with.  But then, H has 3 children and only one, the Twit, is the loser and the problem.

and asked DH for assets to pay for her kids college...cause her money is for her and I am quoting with no filter.  So no, it will not always get better...

If dysfunction exists when the skids are young, it only continues into adulthood.

There will be no child support payments or CO's dictating your time yet the expectation that DH will still be playing Daddy Warbucks will continue, at least that's what happened with my DH.  "Loans" and a little "help" here and there were common with DH.  He loaned himself into tens of thousands of dollars of debt for his kids and his sister. None of them ever paid him back and no it was not for college expenses. It was because ss33 and DH's sister have a problem staying employed.  But no worries, good ol' DH bailed them out everytime.  Thankfully he's curbed way back on giving away money he doesn't have but it wasn't without almost ending our marriage.  

The odds of it getting better are pretty much slim and none IMHO.  If the parent(s) are such POS wastes of parental skin that their spawn are ill behaved little shits it won't get better.

Wastes of skin parents create toxic spawn that grow in to toxic adults.

Good luck.

inflict upon the marriage.

True, not child support is now expected, but the "favors" and lies about "loans" or flat out "gifts" will continue most likely.

These toxic crotch spawn are closer to 50 than 40 and are every subsequent wives' nightmare.

I wish you the best of luck.

8 more years for me and then we are MOVING!!!!! Our shared child will be 9 and at that point, I can finally MOVE far away from this crap and spare my child from the madness.

Yes it can get better if you have a DH with balls and a spine who does not tolerate or enable ahole behavior.  In most states CS ends at 18 and one’s legal obligations end. 

If you have a weak DH then you are screwed. 

For me I was gifted them as already made adults at 18 and 23 then. They’re 28 and 23 now. It never got better. They’re bitter and nasty. They take every opportunity to make me uncomfortable.

hugs 

It depends on whether the CO ends then.  It depends upon whether your SO has insisted his children are focused on their independence.  It depends greatly on your SO..

Our life has improved with little to no contact with the EX since the youngest aged out at 18.  But, my EX never let himself be triangulated with his kids and his EX.  So any issues post 18 were handled directly with the kids.. sans BM.

Nope, not better. My SD(32) now has 2 children of her own. It’s like a switch flipped and she is 14 again. I am sad for my husband, he adores her children but she and her sister have made things impossible for me. This puts him is a terrible position and they can’t see that. 

My stepchildren are 24 and 30.The 24 year old is a little immature and his Dad  is very soft on him and kind of babies him the 30 year old is a drug addict and terrible mother.   Currently I do have ontact with her.  She still plays games with Daddy and it wreaks havoc on his mental well-being which annoys the hell out of me.  I always say i'd sell her to a Sheik in Arabia but no one would want her.  It's sad really.  Like I tell my husband, my goal is to make my own son indpendent of me.  I don't want to have to continue to raise any adult. But guilt from divorce makes some parents not make the best choices regarding their children.