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The royal wedding has commenced

MadHatter's picture

The big day has arrived. It started out at 9:45 this morning with a call from the bride to cuss out her father and demand that he cause white balloons to materialize on the signposts along the route to the wedding venue. When he hesitated to jump to task, because this was the first he'd heard of it, the cuss fit ensued, and SD was quick to remind him, "This is MY God**** day, and you have to do whatever I say!" Then, she hung up on him. After a few more calls from her, and a few more cuss fits, DH dutifully called a party supply store across town and went to pick up balloons and tied them up for her.

A couple of hours later, DH shows back up at home in a panic to get a shower and get dressed because the photographer needed him back at the venue for pictures in an hour. It's a 40 minute drive from our house to the venue so he had practically no time. He put on his dress shirt he purchased to go with his $30 suit from the thrift store, and since he hadn't tried it on, of course, the top button of the shirt wouldn't button and neither would the button on the suit coat. He cinched the tie up as best he could and sucked in his stomach until the button on the coat would just barely catch. God help everyone if he has to breathe! Somebody is gonna lose an eye when that button flies off!

He told me that one of SD's bridesmaids is conspicuously absent. Apparently there was a falling out between SD and one of the many bridesmaids. They saw each other at a concert a few nights ago and SD was shoved by the girl (probably for being the raging b*tch that she normally is) and then the girl bit her on the arm and wouldn't let go! That should look pretty in the pictures.

I'm certain that there's more to come. I hope they're going to enjoy their outdoor evening ceremony in this balmy 46 degree weather we're having today. I'll post more when DH returns. As for me, I'm sitting here in my warm comfy house in my pajamas eating homemade vegetable beef soup and loving every minute of it.

sandye21's picture

As hard as it is to believe, this situation could deteriorate further. Hope for your DH's sake the button holds up. Can't wait to hear about the happenings at a wedding that you were smart enough to opt out of. Good for you!!!

I am really sick of brides insisting, "It is MY day!" and ordering everyone to march to her wishes. Just wonder if this will make a reality impact on DH. Save a bit of soup just in case DH gets so fed up he leaves early.

MadHatter's picture

Oh, I'm certain this is just the beginning. There's so much more going on behind the scenes. The groom's mother will be there with husband number 4 or 5 who doesn't get along with husband number 1, the father of the groom; bio-mom is attending with her hubby and she just found out that he's been having an affair for the past 8 months; plus there's an open bar. If all that isn't a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is!

enuf's picture

This is too, too, funny! You are wise to have stayed home, if it was me that was made to be by my dh side, I would have been rip roaring drunk by the time I do's came up and would have started laughing. She may have been a contender for the series "Bridezillas" on television. I cannot believe your dh actually put up the balloons. They have to do, what they have to do to please the parasites. He apparently has plenty of blood to let her suck on.

twoviewpoints's picture

I don't know, I might have went for the sheer entertainment value. I haven't seen a good comedy for a while Smile

MadHatter's picture

I haven't heard from DH yet, but I did see some pics that his family posted on Facebook. She looked good except her face looked big and round even though she's not anywhere near fat, and that big purple bite mark was shining for the world to see in all the pictures. The flowers were beautiful. All of the guests looked like they were getting ready for a blizzard in heavy coats, gloves, and toboggans while she looked like she was gritting her teeth in her strapless gown. Pretty dress, though.

SugarSpice's picture

dear op, you must be laughing to yourself!

when one of my sds got married it was the same thing. she was screaming so much even bm was starting to get peeved.

sd was screaming and pouting and slammed the hotel door in the face of dh. then he had that castrated look on his face and said she is feeling a lot of stress.

i am sorry but being a bride does not give the right to be a beyotch to any one especially the father since he paid for 99% of the wedding.

ldvilen's picture

Love, Love, Love this! Just goes to show how much fun a SM can really have when she says No and means No. Just think. . . instead of getting a major a$$-kicking at your SD's wedding, you're enjoying a sweet relaxing day. Just goes to prove what I say below ↓. Or, you could have volunteered to take the missing bridesmaid's place and really scored?

MadHatter's picture

DH just got home. It's nearly midnight. He said that everything turned out great, and he had a really good time. Everyone managed to behave themselves. Then, everyone left and the owner of the venue came up to DH and said, "Who's in charge of the cleanup?" DH looked around, and bio-mom was driving off, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen left as soon as they tossed the rice at the newlyweds, and the only people left were DH, the owner, and his assistant. DH said, "It looks like I'm the cleanup crew." So, an hour later he comes home with 2 and 1/2 cases of beer and 3 boxes of wine, almost an entire groom's cake, 3/4 of the wedding cake, and a laundry basket full of candy! Be didn't even get to eat any of the catered food he paid for because he was too busy doing "dad" stuff. I'm still not sure what that means exactly, but I was glad I had put away the leftover soup for him. Maybe this will be the last I'll have to say about SD for a while. Thank you all for being there for me through all of this.

sandye21's picture

You were SOOOO wise to stay home. You would have wound up being the clean-up crew. Just wonder what your DH's recollections of the wedding will be in a few days. Would not be surprised though if Bridzilla demands the wine back.

Are you totally disengaged from SD?

MadHatter's picture

Oh,yes. I'm completely disengaged. DH said that there was one point before they walked down the aisle that she told him, Shut the F*** up!" but, other than that, I think she behaved.

sandye21's picture

Did he reply to her when she told him to "Shut the f__k up?" What a piece of work! In my opinion, your DH deserves at the very least an apology but it will never happen. Considering this, he probably understands why you have disengaged.

My DH has never actually told me he understands why I disengaged from SD but after 20 years of taking SD's abuse, SD had a meltdown. That was 7 years ago. DH finally saw a side to her that she had been hiding from him. It was no longer possible to say, "I didn't see it" or "She really likes you" or to try to blame me or imply it was my imagination, in any way.

Now SD treats him like dog doo. He still does not have the courage to risk her rejection and stand up for himself but that is his choice. One thing though - he never tries to force me into a relationship with SD now and shows a lot more respect for me. And yes, knowing SD, I would save a bit of soup for him.

Cover1W's picture

Wow! Mirror image of my first wedding. My ex and I were up early cleaning up with his parents because the tables were to be picked up that morning. The lovely B&B owner realized what was going on, stopped serving brunch to everyone else (my family) and told them it wouldn't be on the table until the bride and groom were served first and kicked them out of the dining room to help us. She was fed up with my parents by then...parentzillas?

Found out they also managed to take 2 cases of wine home with them...my best friend managed to see them loading up their car DURING the reception so saved more from disappearing. Nope, they didn't pay for any alcohol.

SMforever's picture

Your post makes me think back to my son's wedding where his bridezilla was pretty much showing her true character throughout. I feel sorry for my son now, being tied down with her.

We got the wedding photos yesterday. Bridezilla is front and centre with hardly any pics of anyone else...the ones of me show the strain I felt that day, biting my lip so as not to bark at her...

The problem is, the wedding is just a test for what their future behaviour will be like.

OP, you are so wise to disengage but make sure you give DH some TLC when he comes home in tatters.

Rags's picture

Oh hell no. That call from the bitch bride from hell toxic crotch nugget about white balloons would have gotten her an ass ripping and I would have pulled out of anything wedding related at that moment including paying any vendors, etc...

The blushing bashful bride would have been left with her bare ass hanging out in front of her wedding and to make sure she couldn't weasel out of having her ass bared in front of the entire wedding I would have walked her down the isle then turned to the entire wedding and played a recording of her white balloon rant or at lease recounted her crap and let her and everyone else know she was cut off from all daddy support until she made a significant life change and then advised everyone to leave and go scarf the food at the reception and take their gifts with them.

This crap doesn't fly in Rags' world. Fortunately.... I don't have people of this low level of class in my world.

Grrrrrrr!

oneoffour's picture

Hmmm, work colleague had her perfect wedding although aspects of it were odd (as retold by her as this was prior to working with her). Her new FIL had his trousers fall down on the exit from the nuptials. He never tried the pants on beforehand and refused to wear a belt. The reception was in the next room but she rented a party bus to drive them around for 30 mins so she could get pictures. She wore flip flops under her $1500 dress. She had about 500 photos done. Her and the groom. Her and each groomsman. Her and each bridesmaid. She has 3 sisters. One had to run home to get the flowers because they were forgotten. As co-worker wanted to get on with things she didn't want to wait 10 mins for her sister and got the sister photo done without one of her sisters being there.

When one of my cousins married she actually THREW a crystal vase in her mothers direction and it smashed against the wall into a thousand pieces. Her sister told me about this later.

Ispofacto's picture

So...when the budget was overdrawn, did SD cancel the cleanup crew and setup DH to do the cleanup for his failure to pony up?

Because I was under the impression the wedding was postponed due to lack of funds? Or did DH pony up?

MadHatter's picture

No....he didn't pay any extra...well, except the balloons and the ice he was ordered to bring. She and her new hubby maxed out the credit cards to pay the balance. I thought the wedding party, minus the bride and groom, were the ones who generally got the setup and cleanup duty, but apparently no one thought of that when they were busy getting wasted drunk. DH had to be there to help set up and then did the cleanup by himself. I'll bet you're right. I don't know if the venue offered cleanup, but if they charged for it, she probably cut it to save money.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

"Shut the F*** up"

If I'd had the utter gall to say that to my Dad, he would have given me "what for" and WALKED AWAY.

WTH talks to their parents that way?? Oh, wait. This is a different generation. SMDH

OP, sounds like you had an ideal night at home!!

ldvilen's picture

Reminds me of a quote I read recently, "This notion that being coarse and tough and enabling hate is OK is highly, highly, highly disruptive and problematic in our society and goes completely against what parents and teachers know is absolutely important for everyone, which is to foster a safe and welcoming environment.”

Why does this seem to be lost on the new generation (millennials)? Trivia question: Does anyone know what the generation after the millennials (those born yr. 2000 and beyond) will be called? I'm asking because I don't know. But, I did hear the term "digitals" being thrown around. Millennials used to be called Generation Y, but true to form, they complained about it, so it was switched. Maybe the generation after them should be called Generation Z. This actually makes sense since there are so many zombie serials and flicks out there now and, of course, the movie World War Z.

Acratopotes's picture

ah thanks for the update lol - I could not help laughing,

at least you scored booze out of the deal,

MadHatter's picture

LOL, Acratopotes, I don't even drink anymore. I turn as red as a tomato and break out in hot flashes anytime I have alcohol. DH isn't a drinker either any more. It's just taking up space in my fridge. I'm sure he'll find a way to get rid of it eventually. I think he should take it to SD and dump it in her fridge!

EDIT: At least it's my spare fridge in the basement that got the duty. If I didn't have the second fridge, it could go straight to the garbage.

Acratopotes's picture

no no no dumping of booze on SD...

keep it, somewhere you will host a BBQ for friends and then you can use it, TG is around the corner...