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Question regarding 23 year old syepson

Marrisa62's picture

<p>I have been married to my husband 6 years. He has a 55 year old son and a 23 year old son. I feel the 23 year old runs his fathers life. He moved out twice back in. We sleep in separate rooms due to my snoring. I had my room setup upstairs, my stepson wanted a room down stairs the size of 3 rooms in one. He moved into our 3 bedroom house. His stuff was piled in the room he wanted to just sit there. He took over not only my bedroom but the whole top floor of my home. I was not allowed to use the spare bedroom or allowed on the 2 nd story. I slept on the couch and floor with no privacy. While he dragged friends in and out at all hours. My husband said he deserved his private space upstairs. I use to clean, do his laundry ect. I quit. He has a credit card with his dad, i do not have access to crefit card or any marital money. He runs up 500 to 3000 a month in credit card debt. Dad bought him exspensive vechile. He trashed first vechile daddy bought. He leaves electronics in floor, his friend said bud you need to pick that up it will get broke. Reply it is ok dad will buy me another one. You get the idea. Well he kept asking his dad why he constantly stressed over money. I made the mistake of saying do you want to know why. Before hand knowledge he and my ss were arguing one night over money my husband held a loaded gun to his head. I said because of your spending you keep him stressed and threatening to kill hisself. I was called a f---cking, wh--re, slut, bi--h and my car i paid for dented. My husband did nothing except stand their with his arms crossed. Outcome ss took off lived in a hotel for a week daddy rewarded him by buying him a small house. I feel he should of made him apologise. To this day my husband says this was all my fault. We have since moved to state my stepson is in. My stepson feels i owe him a apology, my husband told me to apologise even if i don&#39;t mean it to keep the peace, I refuse. My ss wants his dad to divorce me. I am not allowed to speak to hom nor do i want to be around him. Accusses me of spending daddies money. I by all my needs clothes, personal care items ect. We all three were on a family cell phone plan. Mine was turned off. I now pay for my oqn cell phone to. My ss plays at a job ever so often. Yet daddy still pays all his bills, for his dates anything he wants he gets. Daddy i hate to say created a monster.&nbsp; This monster is excutor of daddies will. He gets everything. I have put my 401 k money into several houses and will never get this money back. Something happens to my husband i will have no place to live nor away to get back to where i use to live. My husband said you will figure it out. I told my husband his son is treated like the spouse and me the unwanted stepchild. He says i am being riduculous. Am I?</p>

MissTexas's picture

First of all, it's a blessing in disguise you snore and have an excuse to sleep away from this "man."

You are correct, your DH created this MONSTER. 

Why is the youngest son the executor, and not the older one, or YOU? Not sure what state you're in, but in many spouses are not allowed to disinherit each other, and in ANY state, you can contest the will, and show proof of all that you've invested in these homes, and probably recover money.

In all honesty, you'd probably come out better divorced, and not wait for a death. There must be a significant age difference between you and your DH, so if that's the case he may die soon.

This is not an equitable marriage. DH is married to his loser son.

Please message me as I have more information I would like to share with you.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Of course you are not ridiculous. The situation you find yourself in is ridiculous - but you are not. Your best bet is to consult with a divorce attorney, make a plan, and leave the guy. If you don't want to do that, at least consult with a divorce or estate attorney and get your financial affairs in order. Just because SS is the executor of the will, doesn't mean he gets everything. Most states have laws that keep spouses from being disinherited.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I saw in your bio that you live in FL.  If that is true, you should seek out am estate lawyer.  There are laws that protect you from being disinherited.  I believe you are entitled to use of the marital home for the rest of your life and a certain percentage of your DH's estate.  Please don't believe that you just have to figure it out.  But honestly, the way you are being treated, you may be better off getting a divorce and getting as far away from this toxic mess as you can.

shamds's picture

Will see if the deceased unfairly disinherited someone with no legitimate reason and say the disinherited wife has pumped money into the home and supporting the husbands career, the courts agree she will get something

lets face it, alot of these selfish skids see daddy remarrying as the wife and new kids stealing their money. Its daddy’s money but they feel that the new wife and younger kids are not family or entitled to the estate.

My husbands exwife is a psycho who has brainwashed her kids. My husband has appointed me as sole inheritor of his pension fund so that our 2 toddlers basic education and basic expenses are taken care of as skids have already enjoyed that privilege.

this marriage is so wrong, he is gaslighting you. Never has my husband made me apologise to skids, he’s actually made ss apologise to me (he smirked and mumbled the whole time), he reminded all 3 skids that they need to realise when daddy is no longer here, its just me and f they wanna be arseholes, they make it very difficult for me to care or wanna help them out when i will be the sole inheritor of the bulk of ready cash savings he has. This was about 80-90% earned after divorcing the exwife..

shamds's picture

Will see if the deceased unfairly disinherited someone with no legitimate reason and say the disinherited wife has pumped money into the home and supporting the husbands career, the courts agree she will get something

lets face it, alot of these selfish skids see daddy remarrying as the wife and new kids stealing their money. Its daddy’s money but they feel that the new wife and younger kids are not family or entitled to the estate.

My husbands exwife is a psycho who has brainwashed her kids. My husband has appointed me as sole inheritor of his pension fund so that our 2 toddlers basic education and basic expenses are taken care of as skids have already enjoyed that privilege.

this marriage is so wrong, he is gaslighting you. Never has my husband made me apologise to skids, he’s actually made ss apologise to me (he smirked and mumbled the whole time), he reminded all 3 skids that they need to realise when daddy is no longer here, its just me and f they wanna be arseholes, they make it very difficult for me to care or wanna help them out when i will be the sole inheritor of the bulk of ready cash savings he has. This was about 80-90% earned after divorcing the exwife..

tog redux's picture

OP, if it's not a typo and he really has a 55-year-old son, that puts him in his 70s, at least. He's not going to change how he does things at this point in time. 

I would have left when he relegated me to the couch so his Precious could have the entire upper story of the house.  Can you afford your own place? If not, would one of your children let you live with them (I'm assuming you are around his age, given you have 10 grandchildren)?

piegirl's picture

What a terrible situation you find yourself in!! I would definitely be seeing a divorce attorney to either assist with your exit plkan or to get your own affairs into order to protect yourself from your DH and SS!!