Photos/ Answers and Questions and Boundaries
My DH and I went to premarital counseling. We also went after marriage. I read a post on here about (First family photos). This topic came up in one of our sessions.
Ex sent DH a gift , products she sold. While we were engaged. He brought those gifts into "my house" in the box of mail she had sent him.
I told him that was inappropriate and she knew it. I told him I didn't like it. Of coarse he said it was no big deal. I said you need to set boundaries. He said "I'll send it back". I waited it sat in my counter a few days. He had no intention of sending it back. So I sent it back.!!!!! She responded to him how she was soooooo hurt when she got the things back, that he had "THANKED HER FOR". That seeing my hand writing made her physically sick to her stomach. He questioned me about it, said "you mailed " her gift back? I said yes, you said you were going to do it what's the problem?
Then he had his vow renewal photo on his phone, and another photo of the first family. I said how bout we download that to a cd or computer and you remove it from your phone. Oh he didn't like that. But I said ties got to be cut with her or me.
In counseling it was discussed that the photos he had he would give the ones if him and ex to his kids. Only keep the ones of whole family. And wouldn't accept anymore from them. He would put away out of my site. Boxed up. Away.
So for those questioning is it wrong to ask this "No". If it bothers YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS NOW!!!
COUPLES photos go to the kids. If the kids live at your home then with boundaries that they are not displayed in their room wall or framed for step mom to see. But in an album out if public sight. Or save them for their home not yours.
What bothers one in a partnership should bother both, if one partner says it's no big deal to them, show them you're going to make it a big deal until your feelings are respected.
Divorce means.....END.....OVER......NO MORE......
No one should have to apologize for how they feel!!!!
Don't accept bs people. Your worth is valuable.
Our mental health matters.