The path of healing from narcisstic abuse is such an interesting path. Once you are able to recognize what has truly been going on, it really does change your world. 

I stopped blaming myself. I have stopped have any hope that these skids will ever see the light or change. They were raised in a sick environment. They were raised with emotional incest, and enmeshment. They were groomed to be narcissistic. 

The ironic part is that for us that feel into these situations, we took it upon ourselves to blame our selves. We were willing to try to change for acceptance. It didn’t matter because we were not dealing with a normal situation or normal people. 

 In step situations that work you are dealing with 2 sets of non narcissistic people. The situations that most of us are in we are dealing with narcissistic individuals.

They do not change, they do not apologize, they see no wrong in themselves, they never will. 

We all read endlessly , we spend years trying t figure

out what we can do different. We blame ourselves. We look into ourselves. We try to fix the problems. We become depressed because we just want to fix the problem and have a normal happy life, just like other people.

We stumble upon ST. We start to read others stories. They sound like they are writing about our lives. Same problems, same patterns, same blaming ourselves. 

With the help of each other here in ST. We finally can see what we really are dealing with. Narcissism created by disfuntion. It was created long before we came along. 

We are the ones seeking help, trying to change, looking for answers. The narcissistic individuals don’t read book, articles, try to change, look deep into themselves, they don’t seek help. They are narcissistic. In their minds they don’t need help, they don’t need answers, they feel they have them all. They don’t feel any need to change. They see nothing wrong with themselves.

After years and years for some of us, living with so much self doubt, beating ourselves up, surrounded by individuals who are very happy to put all the blame squarely on our shoulders. Being told “to suck it up”, “just get over it”, “you are being too sensitive” “they were here first” . And many more things dumped on us. We finally find people who understand and tell us no it is not normal, it is not you. We finally figure out with the help here on ST what we are really dealing with.  Narcissistic personality’s created by sick situations that were all ready in place when we came along.

on this road to healing we can now see that our only and best option is disengagement. You can not change these people, you never will. We can work on ourselves. We now know we were dealing with an impossible situation. We stop blaming ourselves. We start standing up for ourselves, knowing no one else is going to stand up for us. We stop trying to seek approval from people not willing or capable of giving it. We can finally see the games they were playing with us, and we chose to no longer play. 

It is funny that the people who really need the help don’t seek it. They are narcissistic and will never seek it. They will never look into themselves and see any wrong. 

Here is to the finding each other here on ST. Helping each other to see the forest for the trees. Helping each other on a healing path for ourselves. Being able to see the truth of our situations. Stopping always blaming ourselves.