O/T - Generational perspectives
Posting this here because my assumption is most of us are "mature" and are dealing with relationships of 20-30 something adult kids/skids.
I have been briefly visiting another site primarily populated by this age group who are living in a major metropolitan area in the US. I have read about and experienced myself some of the snowflake syndrome of this generation. SD29 in particular fits the bill to a "t."
But I have been absolutely stunned by how deep and pervasive this entitlement runs in this generation. Especially so when it comes to how they view their parents, in-laws, grandparents and others. They post issues that are so over-the-top selfish, then seek out vindication from their peers - and get it in spades!
I am appalled. No matter what they do they are right and justified. I weighed in on one poster and tried to respectfully give them another perspective, from an older person's point of view.
(At issue was a "snowflake" mother blowing off a dinner engagement at a restaurant with her in-laws/grandparents at the last minute. IL's lived elsewhere, and had reached out in the morning and invited Snowflake and grandkids to dinner because Snowflake's DH (their son) had to work late that night. IL's had driven to the restaurant's town to meet up, and then Snowflake called them about a half hour before appointed meeting time telling them she and grandkids weren't coming. Snowflake had a host of ridiculous excuses for not going but stated she rarely reaches out and communicates with ILs but leaves that to her husband. When ILs were told Snowflake and grandkids weren't coming, they got upset and told their son they were hurt by Snowflake cancelling at the last minute. Snowflake then posted her story on line and wanted vindication that she did absolutely nothing wrong because her and her kids were of primary importance and the ILs should just suck it up.)
All her peers agreed.
I tried to opine that maybe they should look at the ILs perspective - they made the effort to communicate with her directly and invite her to dinner, knowing DH was working. Maybe they thought they were doing something nice? Maybe they were trying to improve communication with DIL and thus have a better relationship with her AND their grandkids? When she cancelled at the last minute, maybe ILs saw this as a refusal to engage with them. I also wondered if Snowflake had done this to them before? That might explain the IL's hurt feelings.
OMG. You should have seen the vitriolic responses I got! HOW DARE I take the side of the ILs? Snowflake did nothing wrong and anyone who doesn't see that is childish, immature and overly dramatic. It's all about Snowflake's perspective ...ILs should just get over it.
Holy crap. If this is how this generation sees the older generation WITHIN THEIR OWN FAMILIES then we should all expect to get shoved on an ice floe and pushed out to sea.