Year's ago when DH & I had been seeing each other for a couple years, his eldest teenage daughter who was jealously insecure about his relationship with me, flipped out like a crazed person and gave DH an ultimation; her or me

DH did not bow down to her demand and made it clear that if she could not accept our relationship and chose to walk out of his life, it was her that had made this choice, but he would not be forced to choose

She did then somewhat follow through on her threat by not stepping foot in our home for years after that. We did still see her however at DH's family get together's, funny how she never missed those, and always used them as an opportunity to treat us with seething outright rudeness and hostility

She also made a point of insuring that those closest to DH, like FIL, were fully aware of everything going on in her life so that DH would always hear, second-hand of course, all the things that were happening in her life that he was no longer a part of 

Regardless, after we stopped trying to salvage the relationship with her, stopped kissing her ass and simply stopped paying attention to it all, OSD finally came around and it was as if (for a while anyway) none of it had happened

As the years have gone by she has been increasingly building up the nonsense again, her and SIL increasing using SIL's 'great relationship with BM' (post divorce from DH only of course) as a tool to diliberating and consistently stick it to DH & I every single time they see us, to alienate and try to humilate me, make me feel an outsider, and so on

So after DH finally stood up to them recently, OSD flips out on him and says she's cutting him out of her life and that of sgkids too

Same old ugly behavior and extortion rearing it's ugly head

DH was nevertheless devastated as the sgkids especially, mean so very much to him. 

However now like then, he refuses to be extorted

 Fast forward to last weekend, DH phones YSD, like he often does

YSD told him she was on the phone with OSD at the time, and would talk with him later on

DH and her talk later in the evening, after she has finished talking with OSD

Now normally when YSD and DH chat, the conversations are usually about how YSD and her family are doing, how her job is going, updates her on us, etc... etc...

This time round, YSD brings up an event that OSD is apparently holding in a few months for OSGS. DH is a little taken aback becuase again OSD just made it clear he was cut of her and her family's life now...so why would YSD even bring up this event (she was fully aware of what had occurred between OSD and DH)

YSD goes to say that she is going to combine the birthday party she's holding for SGD with the event that OSD is holding for OSGS

This is even more surprising news, especially since DH & I had already planned with YSD that we would most likely be coming out west to see her for SGD's birthday

DH just brushed the whole thing off after the call and assumes we won't be a part of any of that, but that YSD and her family will come visit with us separately

To me, this is the same old games from OSD (and clearly using YSD to help her out)

I do not beleive for one minute that OSD actually wants DH out of her life or that of her children

What she wants, is to be able to make DH feel badly about the fact I'm in his life. 

She wants to damage the relationship between DH & I, and make DH feel guilty for being with me

She wants DH to allow her to play her insecure games of using the relationship that SIL has with BM to alienate me, humilate me, make me feel unwelcome and an outsider

And since DH has done the unthinkable in her world - stood up for me instead - she is having an even bigger jealous tamtrum and once again trying the old "I'll walk out of your life if you don't chose me over your wife" scenario

Now that DH has made it clear that once again, if she walks out of his life it is her decision and she chose to do it, she is in my opinion doing the same thing she did years ago - now trying to make sure DH is fully aware of all the things going on in her life/sgkids lives, that he is no longer a part of ....all because he 'chose' me of course!

So sad that she feels she needs to do this, sad that she needs to resort to it

All because she cannot get past her jealous competitiness where my relationship with DH is concerned

To me the postive in this is that she does want DH in her life still

If the pattern repeats itself she may one day come around again and give up the nasty abuse towards DH & I, but in the meantime, DH has once again decided he will simply not be a part of this, or of a life with her, until she grows up and learns to behave like a mature decent human being whether she likes me or not/accepts the relationship DH & I have or not