Now saving myself and need your feedback
DH and I bought this house almost three years ago so it would be "ours" instead of where we lived before which was my condo. My bios and I were satisfied living in the condo until DH and his 2 daughters moved in. They criticized it endlessly until we hated it too. I realized this at one point and began pushing back, saying the condo didn't become awful until all of you said it was, hhhmmm. The real reason for moving was that we were cramped for space and wanted to provide a single family home experience that was "ours". There was an unspoken assumption that having our own home that gave each child their own room would markedly improve our situation. It didn't. It only gave YSD and YBD new topics to bitch about. YSD acted like she was the woman of the house and took over. By necessity, I spent lots of time at work and at school and she was at home more often and without anyone else's objections stormed around the house stating how it should be run and without coming out and saying it directly, how I've come up short. I could go on and on but it doesn't matter anymore.
One SD has her own apartment, YSD is not coming home from college this summer. I refuse to live with YSD ever again and plan to get divorced to protect myself from her insanity.
What I need help with is dragging myself out of this crushing depression to begin creating a new life for myself while I am still in the limbo of living in this house because we can't sell it. I think I could be on the road to healing so much quicker if I could just get out of here but suffice it to say, for now, I cannot.
I need to get out, meet new people, join a gym, find new activites but how I feel is making it impossible to do what I need to do. Yes, I am in therapy, yes I am taking appropriate medication. I have a successful job. No one there would realize I spend my weekends in crushing despair.As I type this, I feel nauseous and my heart races. DH just came home from working out. Whenever he is in the house, my anxiety increases for I blame him for allowing SD to ruin all we worked for.
Those of you who can relate, who pulled yourselves out of a similar abyss, please respond with how you did it. I know what I need to do but I have to push through this despair in order to get it done.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.