This is not what I imagined when he proposed....
My husbands vile daughter... SD23, had a baby last year. She's a mess. No education, no husband, no job, lives with hubby's ex. DH is a reasonable man and he drew the line with her, created safe boundaries for me, did the right thing when she tried her shit for 8 years.... but now it seems since the baby was born, the fear/guilt has been increased. He was willing to stand up to her before, even though it meant a huge rift, no speaking for months,etc. but now he doesn't want to lose acess to his grandchild so he is back to accepting a one-sided relationship that consists of her crumbs and her drama.
I saw a therapist while she was preggo to help me deal and he called her a "Disruptor".... which fit her to a tee. She only ever acts up when the stakes are high, when we have company over or plans, my daughter's wedding, a $15k family vacation where all bios and steps were together, every Christmas., every holiday. you name it, anything I look forward to, she likes to ruin with her drama. I wasn't raised in a Jerry Springer household so this is so hard for me.
I am afraid to bring up Christmas this year to my husband. My kids travel from 3 states away and deserve a nice Christmas with their mom. But I never imagined a marriage where I ask my husband if his daughter and new grandson can disappear on Christmas. It seems so wrong. I would lose it if he asked me the same. He looks forward to Christmas with his grandson but she only comes to create her drama and "win".
We can't do separate because both our kids see their other parent's family on Christmas Eve and Christmas day is all we have. It is just so unfair. Why do my kids have to suffer and why am I expected to put up with it?
Why can't she just be happy that her dad has a life and is happy?