Yes, lesson learned the hard way. By the same token, they should have no problem being excluded from future "family" things.

You DH was dead wrong to even step into that pictue without you. He should have just grabbed your hand and pulled you into the picture and said "We'd LOVE to have our picture taken with the grandkids." Another scared little man afraid to stand up to his kids. I'm sorry from your hurt. It was rude all the way around.

i see this a bit differently, i wouldn't invite them to big expensive dinners, i would advise them that you are having one, when & where. and when they do come expecting a free ride, ask the waiter for separate checks made for them.

as far as the photo, been on that rude ride. fuck it, you don't want to be in their album anyway. and any copies sent to you, i mean dh ~ TRASH THEM! there is not one single pic of skids displayed in my home and i don't foresee any grandskid pics either

Your husband should have said "my wife is family too" he is like my husband and doesn't want to rock the boat...someone might get upset, but it doesn't matter if it's thier wives who get upset..men are cowards...my husbands thinks I am too sesitive also..it's crap..you were hurt, you should be very upset.

Pretty rude.The lack of offering to contribute and the pics.I'd not buy them another either.I agree with what twopines said too.They probably see it as your DH bought the dinner and not a thought to your contribution.Typical and yes life is too short to keep trying to be nice to and do things for people who won't return the effort.

My hubby said I was being too sensitive..I know the feeling.

I think I would have questioned why SHE was in the photo if it was "family". Apparently MARRIAGE doesn't make you family in her eyes.

yeap, seperate checks or just say we paid last time you pay this time to them.

God I wouldn't even eat with them again. :sick:

My husband's children have never offered to contribute to meals except that SS will do the dishes. SD is total princess. I'll never forget how upset I was at SD's wedding. I was not yet married, but we planned to marry the following year, and did. They did not include me in any of the wedding pictures. The BM and former SM yelled at my husband to join them. Everyone excluded me. So rude. I should have known then!

Question for the flip side that comes up often on here:

Is it wrong for SM to NOT be in the "family" picture?
If so, is it wrong for skids to be in SM's "family" pictures?

People on here say ALL.THE.TIME that skids do not need to be in family photos. It seems interesting that the SM should be included, though. It isn't a one way street.

BTW, my personal feeling is that family photos should include all of the family. I have included skids in mine. I feel it would be hypocritical to say "no skids" in MY pics, but then get butthurt if I'm not invited to be in theirs.

See thing was, this was not just a deliberate exclusion of some members of a family. It was really tasteless and trashy behaviour to single out any particular subgroup for special little exclusive photo-session on their own. It was rude to everyone else, not just you. I recently went to a gathering of a colleague who invited a group of girlfriends out for her 40th in a big restaurant. There was food, dancing etc. Then people got out their cells to take photos to remember the occasion. Different groups of women gathered around the birthday girl to celebrate, people who were friends, people who had only just met... there was every combination, cuddling and grinning. Then these pics were circulated in the following days. This is how photos are typically taken at big meals and parties out. For someone to take aside a little family group and use the occasion for their own selfish purposes, is just... plain... rude and cheap. :sick:
I guess if you go out with these people again and anything like this threatens to be re-enacted, you or preferably DH jumps up with a big camera and starts taking huge group photos of everyone, even positioning them in different groups, bustling around in the role as host. That way you could deflate their crap and reduce them to the scuttling little insects they would seem to want to be.

Mindy, I'm the opposite...I get asked to be in family pics, and I decline. They're not my family. Their DH's family.

I agree that DH should have grabbed your hand and pulled you into the picture. Next dinner with SDs, when the bill is presented say, "Did you pay last time or did we? Oh yes, we did so I guess it's your turn."

If you've never been in their picture theres a good chance you wont be unless something is said,, im glad you stood up for yourself.. Something similar happened to me on "our first Christmas",, I had to say something too so I wouldnt feel like an outsider.. The kicker is I dont think most people do it on purpose,, its just old habits and traditions existed long before we did..

Gee, I don't even care if I am in the wedding/family photos, but the skids keep having me in them. Go figure.

I think your hubby should have said, sure "WE ALL" or "BOTH OF US" would love to be in pictures with the the grandkids.

You blew it on that one hubby! Try again.

Holy Shit this is like dejavu all over again for me!

Like the time Me DH, Stepson, StepDaughter, and my two biokids were at a super bowl party, that happened to coincide with Stepdaughter’s birthday. My younger kid was about 7 years old… the step-son says to his Uncle, “can you take a picture of the family?” and the three of them gather together, my kid (mind you she was 7 years old at the time) ran over to be in the ‘family’ picture and the asshole had the stones to say “sorry, J, I just want MY family in this picture”

Didn’t care that DH apologized, the asshole son didn’t!

And don’t get me started on the “big dinner” thing… the same leech job step son of mine has NEVER reached into his pocket for a big dinner out!

Last year, we had eight of us out to dinner on vacation… my step-daughter, handed my husband a hundred bucks and, then my step-son actually had the nerve to get MAD because she chipped in for dinner! Because she was “making him look bad” (no honey, she’s got nothing to do with that, you did that all on your own)
He conveniently left his wallet back at the house… (ha, not so convenient, because they wouldn’t let him order any booze without his ID! Hahah)

I know just how you feel! I do agree that the father should say something because not saying something shows acceptance to the action. Have you addressed it with her? I did with mine and nothing has changed. She did take two pictures of me with the grandbaby and her father but I believe that was to make her look like she is this innocent person. BS!!!!!