(newbie) Thanks, kind and chatty strangers
I'm so incredibly wiped out currently, but had to find the oomph to set up an account here. You have been a lifeline of not so much hope but at least validation. I have taken my rage and incredulousness of the past few days of private, miserable, step mothering hell and sunk it into reading here.
I've been with my husband nearly 10 years. I've regretted choosing him for about the same amount. His grown (41d, 38d, 36d, 33s, 32d, 30s) children are shabby people and generally vicious. Dunno if I blame my husband in this dynamic, them, or my own self for not doing better with protecting my own values and self. Likely the last one most.
I would share specifics, but it makes me physically ill when I try articulating it all. The chaos and drama really, really is taking a toll on me. What a lonely azz road to walk!
Thank you, each of you, for taking effort to share and type your stories. I will breathe deeply and hang on at least for this day. I will come back tomorrow and borrow strength from you again. I used to really like who I was. I want to know that person again and honor her, regardless of this no win situation I'm navigating.