New mother of 25 year old. I have no idea what to do.
I only recently became a stepmother. My husband has 2 children, a son (23) and daughter (25). I do not have children of my own. I get along decently with his son, he is a nice young man away at college (and doing very well). The daughter, on the other hand, is attempting to ruin our relationship. My husband has clearly stated from the beginning that his daughter is selfish and spoiled, but it is now disrupting me and I am not sure what to do. Up until now I have followed my mothers advice and it has resulted in disaster. It started with us taking a week-long trip (my husband needed medical treatment out of state, not for anything major but we wanted to go to the best). While gone she agreed to take care of our pets. As it turns out she decided to have friends over to our house, drink a bottle of vodka, and not ONCE change the cat litter or feed my cats. When we returned she went on and on about traveling with her friends while we were gone and how much fun they had. My cats were forced to potty outside their box (all over our newly renovated home) and nearly starved! She had the audacity to complain that the house smelled when we returned. She never apologized and was not reprimanded in any way, shape, or form by her father. My mother advised me to simply stay quiet and leave when she was there. I have done exactly this. Now she is at our house every chance she gets. Last night I cooked a lovely meal. She drove over (2 hours) and decided to cook my husband a meal instead. My meal sat there as he ate her food (all meat because she knows I am vegetarian). The last 3 weekends I have been promised a weekend getaway and because of her it has been cancelled all three times. Whenever he has time away from work (all week he has time for nothing else) she manages to take all his time. Before I moved in she RARELY came over to his house. I have discussed this with him several times. Nothing has changed. He just tells me that she is selfish and spoiled. Now I never have time alone with him. It is draining our relationship. I have no idea what to do.