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Never ending neediness and drama

Daisymazy2's picture


 SD, age 19,  called DH to bring her a sandwhich at work.  She forgot her lunch at home.  She works for a retail store that has a sandwhich shop in the same building. She could have bought her own sandwhich.  Nope, she didn't have money.  She had already blown her paycheck.  She works full - time  since she was kicked out of college.  DH jumps and runs.  He  drives 10 miles to take her a sandwhich. Of course,  he  couldn't fix one at home.  He has to stop at a sandwhich shop to buy one.  I pointed out to him that there was a sandwhich place in the store where she worked and asked why did he take it to her. He said if he didn't take it to her he would never hear the end of it and she would never want to see him again.   Translated:  He took her the sandwhich so that he could be seen as the great awesome father and she wouldn't be mad at him.

She lives with BM but she still has to see " Dadee" every week or at least every other week.  She doesn't come to my house.  He takes her out to eat, movies, and shopping.  Why would she ever decide not to see him again because he didn't bring her a sandwhich?  She would not have starved if he didn't take it to her. She would have learned to budget her money and/or bring her peanut butter sandwhich from home.

She called DH upset because she owes the college over $10,000.  She went one semester and 2 weeks of a 2nd semester before she was kicked out.  Some how, she received a scholarship and when she was kicked out, the scholarship refused to pay. She can't afford to pay it she says.  If she is getting paid the amount she said she was getting paid, she should have no problem setting up a payment plan.  She doesn't want to pay it.  DH will not pay it for her.  He is already maxed out on bills or I am sure he would step right up to the plate.  She is trying to convince him that they will not release her transcript if she doesn't pay.  I don't know why she wants her transcipt. Her grades were horrible and she barely passed the first semester.  She has already attempted an online course and couldn't do that either.  I don't think she needs to attend another college until she grows up.  She was worried that the bill will go into collections.  I told DH that she should  find a way to pay it so it doesn't.  Second job, maybe. 

 She tried to tell DH that co-worker  was sexually harrassing her.  She told the manager.  The manger placed the boy on leave and he got his job back.  She told DH that the manager told her that they didn't care if he sexually harrassed her and they needed him to work because they were short handed.  She said the Co-worker she stands at the end of department and stares at her the entire shift.  I told DH that he was allowed back because they didn't find any evidence of sexual harrassment. I am sure the guy isn't standing the entire shift at the end of department staring at her.  I am sure he does give her the "cold stare" whenever he walks past her.  Yes, I do believe she is lying.  She lies so much that I wouldn't believe her if she told me the sky was blue. 

Yes, we do have separate checking accounts.  So he spends his money on her and not my money. 



Catmom024's picture

Oh they get off on running and jumping for their dysfunctional off spring.   My SO's daughter failed out of college too after just one semester.   She'd taken out a student loan but expected her father to pay the loan back because "it wasn't her responsibility".  Thankfully he refused.   The government intercepted her tax return because she wasn't paying it.  Lol.  Princess was NOT happy and has been punishing DADDY for years.

Daisymazy2's picture

I forgot that her tax refund can be taken.  I think I will just wait and see how that plays out. It should be interesting.  She will be so upset that she worked so hard for the refund and it just isn't fair.  *ROFL*  She will have to call "Dadee" so he can lend his shoulder for her to cry on.  

caninelover's picture

Nowadays if you look at a snowflake cross-eyed they claim harassment.  They probably did determine her claims were frivolous.

Next time she forgets her sandwich she should just go hungry or buy it herself.  Then she won't forget next time.  To bring a 19 year old her lunch is ridiculous.

tog redux's picture

I don't get how it never occurs to these men that their relationship with their kid is so superficial it could be destroyed over a sandwich (or so they fear). How is that something worth hanging on to? Why do you want someone around who cares for you so little that they could cut you off forever because you won't run to Subway for them?

hereiam's picture

Yeah, I don't get it, either.

And in this case, he takes her out to eat, shopping, to movies, I really doubt she's going to forgo all of that because he didn't take her a sandwich. It would save him some money if she did cut him off!

shamds's picture

They come first and are the superior family. Barf!! I told my husband years ago if he went no contact with sd's what would happen. He said they wouldn't contact him as too busy but never too busy enough to remind daddy he needs to pay cs indefinitely for grown arse adults who finished university when he has minor kids with me who just started school.

parents like this would rather be treated like a doormat if they get temporary attention from their kids.

CLove's picture

He sounds sort of pathetic to be doing that hoping for scraps of her attention and love.

Hes jumping thorugh hoops - afraid of "losing her". And what exactly would he be losing?

Currently we are no contact with SD22 Feral Forger who has no drivers license, no car of course, no job (at least your SD has a J-o-b) and crashes on her mothers couch at the apartment. I think she has a boyfriend who gives her money and buys clothes but I dont think that will last very long.