I am 25 now and still there are a few issues with my step-mum. Now I am older and can see the bigger picture for what it really is. How do I approach my father and tell him he is making things worse.
My step-mum is very insecure I thought she got better. She was worse when I was a child but now its seems we are back to square one. The other day got a call from dad saying he was on his way down to london and my step-mother was already down seeing her parents. They live near me so my dad said well I will come up and see you first.Because she gets funny when he visits me without her he came on his own for about 10-15 min. He was holding my baby and was happy by himself spending time with him.So he didn't really speak to me much then he got up and said well I better go and get them and come back. Also the other day I sent him a pic of my lo by email and he printed and showed it to me. So he picked up the evevelope and said well she has not seen them pics yet.
I tell you its crazy as when he came back to them was not quite sure if he told her he visited me on his own or he did. Well he did say to her about the pics and she was like she sent that to you today so he said no the other day. Its like she wants to know everything. They come down sometimes on weekends or its like every other week it all depends what they are doing. Another time he, my step-mum and half-brother came down and she went to see her parents. He rang me saying he was outside where I live waiting for a bus to straight to my uncles. Then he said after I see him me and M my half-brother will come and see you. Without step-mum. So this causes an issue and when he got to me I said to him I have to out to get shopping. So fed the baby and got ready. He was like checking the email. So afterward I went downstair put the baby in pushchair and he was outside. Remember him being on the phone and didn't think much of it or didn't take that much notice. So on the way to get the supermarket we bumped into my sm sister and she was like my step-mum will be angry because he was like meant to go straight back to my step-mums parents to get her before coming to me. So he said to me well I just spoke to her. So then I realise it was her he was speaking and according to him she was like this was not the plan and that he was meant to get her before coming to me. He says everytime she don't see the baby she feels like she is missing out. So I didn't say nothing but annoyed once again she is so insecure yeah I can understand her wanting to see the baby. I couldn't do my shopping properly and on the way back I said to my dad I might have to go down near where her parents live to another supermarket but he well if your doing then I will get her and bring her back to yours after. So I said its alright I really couldn't be bothered.
So I just feel him not telling her stuff or hiding things making everything worse. Its like she is jealous of the relationship my dad has with my lo. She is really getting on my nerves as that weeks she had already been down and saw the baby on two days that week as my grandad passed away and she came to see us the night before and they had dropped me after the funeral back home and came up. They were at my house for ages.
I just don't get it why she still so insecure why he having to lie about seeing his daugher and his grandson. It's really getting on my nerves. I live at my mothers house aswell and my mum allows her in the house. Don't know why but she does. All the things really she has put me through. Honestly not saying I was a total angel but she was the one who always resented me. I was told by my dad I even said to her should I call her mum when they first got married. I must of been 5 maybe older can't remember but afterwards I liking for her seem to change to hating her. I even lived with them for 4 years and when I first moved in it was hard but after she had my half-brother who is now 6 we got closer and we would do all sorts together go shopping. Thing were fine with us they I got pregnant and things happened and had to move back to my mother house and now back to the beginning. I know it could be because of my mum why she is insecure as her and my dad did sleep together over 20 years when they first got together and this resulted in my mother getting pregnant but said when she was two she died. I don't know if this is why she is insecure or she just wants to visit my mums house to be so nosey to see what she has got. She has got issues as my step-mum full well knows my mother does not have much. They got a 3 bedroom with a loft and she know all we live in is a 2 bedroom flat. She will come in my mums house go in the kitchen just putting her cup in the sink to be noisey. When I lived with them she was like why don't you get your mother to come and stay over one night. I was shocked but then realise well she just probably wants to rub my mums nose in it that she has a big house with my father etc. My mum said no anyway and said what I just that she would not feel right her showing her something she don't have. I said no anyway as I knew my mum would say no. She use to carry on why don't your mum come down to see you I would want to know where my daughter is living. Well my mum did visit me but we would meet at the station and go shopping in the town. Wish was good but I can't believe her do you know that.
I must be mad or something as because I am always nice and polite for my dads and brothers. This is his wife their mum so got to be civil. This sunday I have invited them for dinner well can you imagine the issues that are going to arise. She will drive up the bloody wall but will have to put up with it. I went through a stage that I kind of ignored all her rubbish and even couldn't be in the same room as her would leave her with my mum. My mum sometimes goes upstairs as she can stand up. She treated so bad as a child and yet I have moved on and tired and fed up for her being so insecure now.
Any advice as I am going to end up saying something to my dad and telling him its his fault she is like this.