My fiances family hates me and I hate them, What To Do, I am very frustrated and upset.
I have a ss that is sixteen, I hate his guts, he is whiny, stupid, slow, a pain in the ass, nothing like a normal sixteen yr old boy. He wants wants wants all the time. He never does one thing he is asked to do. Then there is the twenty yr old that thinks the world owes him a car, money and he should mooooch forever. He comes and goes as he pleases, lately more gone than here, thank the lord above. I hate them both, the sixteen yr old looks like pee wee herman, lol. They have caused a lot of problems in my relationship with my fiance. Then there is my fiances 50 yr old sister, I hate her too. She is in the middle of our business from california and we live in maine. She tryed to cancel the sale of our house from our mortgage man because she emailed him 13 times in a half hour and he didnt respond quick enough, she is a big bitch, told me she will be watching me and she will decide what is best for Mike, my fiance. I hate her guts too. I hate to keep bitching to Mike because then I look like I am trying to keep him from everyone, I am not, I just dont want to see the sister, she is coming home this week for a visit for their dads birthday and she is having it in a tacky pizza joint, lol, they all think its great, I would be embarrassed if I were her. But, anyway I am not invited, can you beleive the nerve of that big eithties hair mom jeans wearing sow. And not to mention she has a head as big as a forty lb pumpkin, lol. Mabe she will fall out of the plane on her big head lol. She keeps trying to get Mike to leave me, my kids are grown and respectful of Mike and myself. I am at wits end and getting more hateful by the hour. I work full time, I keep the house clean, I cook all the meals, do all the laundry, and those two idiots he calls kids have had the poorest parenting I have ever seen. They are slobs like their mother, she is beyond filthy and so are they. The sixteen yr old, pee wee, I will call him, brushes his teeth and when you go in the bathroom behind him there is toothpaste all over the mirrow sink and wall, he is stupid and I hate him. I need advice, I just dont know what to do, i dont even sleep much any more.
I know this is true, but, we
I know this is true, but, we just got a house that we love and I am forty five, I feel like I just cannot start over again. I cry every day of life, I am so depressed and I cannot talk to him, he does not talk about problems at all, he gets mad and says I harp even if I try to talk just a little. It ends up in a fight, he starts hollering and thinks his family is perfect.
Stepaside, thank you, thank
Stepaside, thank you, thank you, that is exactly how I feel, it was like you picked my brain. How do I let it go though, I am trying so hard, i am on the verge of losing him now and i do love him and dont want to separate. He does defend his sister, but i dont know how to stop, it is consuming me you are right, the more i try to do right the less he seems to care, i am so afraid. I cannot talk to my friends because they are couple friends and they are involved in our life and i dont want them to know everything. I am so afraid though.
I am sure his stupid kids
I am sure his stupid kids will probably get it anyway and then his lazy drunken exwife can go back to laying on our couch again like she did when i first moved with him before we got the house.
so is fiance going to the
so is fiance going to the party without you? because if yes, the problem is him...not his family.
Yes he is and i felt so
Yes he is and i felt so betrayed by this also, I dont even know how i am suppose to feel about it. I know his dad is going to be eighty and he does not want to miss it and he would like to see his sister, the big ugly bitch is blowing in from california this friday. He cannot bring her to our house though, we have agreed to that at least.
wow. he is going and you
wow. he is going and you were not invited? and he did not have the balls to stand up for you?
doomed. it is just doomed. i am sorry. he does not stand by you at all. how can you live with that?
I know and I am so upset, my
I know and I am so upset, my heart feels like it was squeezed to death and I cannot breath because of the way he is being lately. I dont want to end this relationship. I love him, but hate them. How do i deal with this?
i can see no reason to stay
i can see no reason to stay in the relationship. trust me...you woudl rather be alone than be thsi miserable and this disrespected.
what exactly do you love about him? is it the way he treats you as second class and disrespects you? I am not sure that is so loveable a quality.
Absolutely great advice, you
Absolutely great advice, you are right, it is the fact that they exclude me. I dont want to go, I would not have gone anyway. Its just that he acts like he is stand offish because they dont like me. Standoffish to me, if thats even a word. He acts like our relationship is hard because they dont like me so, I didnt do anything, his sister disrespected me and was very rude about my three yr old grand daughter who she has never met. I hate that big ugly bitch with a passion. I dont want to harp on it and ruin my relationship over it though. She calls my fiance all the time and talks badly about me and tells him he should leave me. I have no idea what else the bitch says about me probably plenty.
That is exactly what I will
That is exactly what I will do, thank you for all your good advice. I am going to work until two thirty, party starts at two. Then i am coming home and clean my house. We are going to have a few people over on that night around six. Some friends and my sister and hubby, so sil can kiss my ass as far as i am concerned. She'll be sitting at her mothers discussing me and all miserable coz she sure as hell isn't invited here.
Dear D I went though a
Dear D
I went though a similar situation with evil SILS and entitled teens. One SIL made it her job to slander us once we got married (w/o her approval I guess). She's the control freak who runs that family. She had been our friend until the marriage but had showed signs of jealousy when we were affectionate in front of her, etc. She turned the other two SILS against me and sided with BM, even though she had told DH to divorce her. (lazy abusive cheating slob) It was extremely upsetting to go through that emotional BS but we are soulmates and truly compatible so it actually strengthened us in the long run.
Anyway, long story short, here is the low-down:
1. Your DH needs to put you first and make it plain that he will choose you above the extended family, no questions, hands down.
My DH told off SILs and cut them off for a while. Now they act civil. We keep a "distant" relationship with them. They ruined something that
could have been good for them--our friendship.
2. Re the kids, DH needs to set boundaries and be the father, not the guilty daddy like so many on here.
In our situation, BM was their "friend" and DH had to buck her all through their teens, and SD was one of those bi-polar ragers. Now SS has been in trouble. DH was unable to prevent this so he stopped being the fall guy and fixer and pocketbook. It worked!! The kids are taking the consequences of their actions and growing up. BM has to lie in her dirty bed now. Alone.
PS my SIL told me she was more important to my SKIDs than me and she would be there long after I was gone. Also threatened me if
anything should happen to DH (implying I was bad for him). Very sick. Not normal. Your DH needs to wake up and smell the coffee about this.
Unless he enjoys being the 'baby"