Must confess disengaging feels so, so good right now :)
Sooo SD30 sent an email a few weeks ago that she was planning a birthday party for 2 of her kids and herself who have birthdays this month and asked us (and others) for our addressess. DH sent her a reply "send us an invite." On the same day she sent an email to her older sister, DH and myself that she doesn't know why there's tension (yeah right) and that it isn't her kids fault and they shouldn't be punished for it and can we all get along and be a family and come to their party blah, blah. I did not reply, I don't believe my DH replied and have no idea if OSD replied but I told my DH that I was not going to the party. I decided (with help from reading posts/comments on here) to disengage and that I am no longer going to attend the skids parties etc., etc. I told him that life is too short and I'm not going to spend my time somewhere where I know I am not liked and that every frickin thing I say or do is under a microscope by his daughters. I mean I just found out last month that something I said at Thanksgiving was a problem for them. Ridiculous. I told him he should go as he needs to do everything he can to keep up the relationships with HIS gkids and they especially need stability in their lives with such whacked out mothers. He said he wasn't happy going without me but he gets why I don't want to go and didn't try to change my mind and he told his daughter that he would be at the party. I have gone to and done so many things during our 13 yr marriage for the sake of my DH and the grands and I'm just done with it! I can't do it for their sakes any more, I have to take care of myself and do what I enjoy and go to places I enjoy being at etc. I have to say I feel so, so good that I don't have to go this party. I am sad that I won't be with the gkids but this is how it is and I am not the one in control of being with the gkids so I have accepted it and moved on. Of course, as a added bonus, BM happens to be in town (she lives overseas) and will also be at the party. Gee so sad I'll miss her company -NOT!! I was annoyed at the email I got because I AM NOT the problem here sister is the problem and what she did and said. So if she wants it fixed she needs to talk to her sister not ME. Of course, the email was just a way to get her Daddy to come to the party since DH hasn't had much contact with her sister the last few months over the crap she said during DH mother's death and funeral. So she got what she wanted, both her Daddy, Mommy and big sister will all be at the party. So it worked out well for her but really I AM THE REAL WINNER cuz I don't have to go the party and spend time with the disgusting SD and BM!!